Things I Hate

Sometimes I feel like I don't have anything to write here.

I've been focused on getting at least one post up a day, usually a few, and there are days where I have to stretch it to make it work. I've got multiple ways of keeping track of things I want to blog about, and then there's good ol' inspiration, but there are times when the well is just dry.

I've realized that part of the problem is that I'm constantly focusing on positive topics--informing you, the reader, about something that I feel is worth your attention. Frankly, the reality is that there's a lot more things that I hate out there, and for a couple of months now, I haven't been giving them the attention they deserve.

So fuck it.

You know what I hate?



Freecreditreport.com. And their motherfucking commercials. A waste of their advertising dollars and my time. Here's the way I envision their marketing team dreaming these commercials up:

Marketing Guy 1: Harold--the economic landscape is a barren wasteland right now.
Marketing Guy 2: Our credit reports are free. So we're good, right?
Marketing Guy 1: Wrong. Nobody believes that our product is trustworthy. Nobody believes in any of these bullshit credit report company's, actually.
Marketing Guy 2: I've been scammed myself.
Marketing Guy 1: Right. So what we need to do is establish a market presence. Provide a security blanket to potential customers.
Marketing Guy 2: Stroke their heads and tell them, "We. Love. You."
Marketing Guy 1: Precisely. Now, the Main Street mind would tell you we should, you know, hire diligent workers, deliver a superb product at a low cost, provide great customer service, and basically follow through on all aspects of our company guarantee.
Marketing Guy 2: Sounds--expensive.
Marketing Guy 1: You can bet your pussy it is, Harold. What we do instead is this: commercials.
Marketing Guy 2: The Super Bowl, Fred? Could we show it during the Super Bowl?
Marketing Guy 1: And not just any commercials. Really kooky commercials *with strange hand gestures*. Downright stupid commercials. Commercials complete with a catchy song and cheap costumes and low production values.
Marketing Guy 2: Because nothing says "reputable business advising" like pun-driven songs and cheap laughs!
Marketing Guy 1: Exactly, Harold. Exactly.

*

Well, at least we know Manny's positive test isn't from that Rogaine stuff.


More soon.

JS