Two Articles I Would Literally Regret Not Sharing With You

So I thought I was on holiday break.

But two articles I came across recently are so good that I realized that I would literally regret not sharing them with you.

First is this piece by Ricky Gervais. It's from The Wall Street Journal and it explores the roots of his atheism. Comedians are some of the brightest users of language around, so it should come as no surprise that this piece is sharp, cutting, and extremely thought-provoking. Here is just one of the many outstanding passages that the piece contains:

The dictionary definition of God is “a supernatural creator and overseer of the universe.” Included in this definition are all deities, goddesses and supernatural beings. Since the beginning of recorded history, which is defined by the invention of writing by the Sumerians around 6,000 years ago, historians have cataloged over 3700 supernatural beings, of which 2870 can be considered deities.


So next time someone tells me they believe in God, I’ll say “Oh which one? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?…” If they say “Just God. I only believe in the one God,” I’ll point out that they are nearly as atheistic as me. I don’t believe in 2,870 gods, and they don’t believe in 2,869.

Kudos to you, Mr. Gervais.

Second, and maybe more importantly, is this piece from GQ by Mary Rogan. Brian Burke is a name that any hockey fan knows, one that is synonymous with words like ruthless, and domineering, and notorious bad-ass. When his son Brendan died in a car accident in February of 2010, it was a tragedy. But it was also the start of Brian's new role--as a gay rights advocate.

You see, Brendan was a pioneer--a high-profile name in the sports world, certainly the first in the professional hockey world, who was openly gay. He came out during an ESPN.com interview, after he'd told his family. His older brother Patrick remembers how it happened, right after he'd returned from a road trip to Rhode Island:

"I had a bunch of bags in the car, and I went inside to tell Brendan he had to help get the luggage out. We're walking to the car and he said, 'I have something to tell you: I'm gay.' I said, 'Are you being serious? Are we having this conversation, or are you just joking around?' He said, 'No, I'm serious.' I said, 'Well, that doesn't change anything, and I love you—now grab those bags and let's go inside.' The whole conversation was about thirty seconds long, and when I opened the door I yelled, 'Mom, you owe me twenty bucks—I told you he was gay!'"

I was in tears for most of this piece, and I expect you will be too.


And that's all until 2011.
JS

Try Not To Eat Your Screen

You don't even want to see what he'll do if you tell him Jesus wasn't born in December.

I wanted to give you all some reading before the crush of the holidays begins to hit. I'm sick, so don't expect much wit.

-This is a piece from Discover that looks at a group of scientists  on the verge of uncovering just where scizhophrenia comes from. Their description:

Schizophrenia has long been blamed on bad genes or even bad parents. Wrong, says a growing group of psychiatrists. The real culprit, they claim, is a virus that lives entwined in every person's DNA.

Scary, but interesting, stuff.

-This is a piece from The Washington Post by Kathleen Kennedy Townsend. It is an answer to Sarah Palin's suggestion that religion should actually be a part of government. As long as it's her religion, of course.

-Christopher Hitchens may be dying of cancer, but that isn't stopping him from writing, and boy, does he rip The Tea Party and Glenn Beck a new one here.

-Doughnut Plant is amazing. If you don't like Doughnut Plant, we can't be friends, simple as that. They just posted a new gallery of photos, which you can find here. Be careful not to try and eat your screen.

-As 2010 begins to end, we will surely be inundated with lists proclaiming "The Best _____ of 2010." Here's one worth paying attention to though--Roger Ebert's 10 best movies of '10.

That's all for now, maybe even until the New Year.

Have a happy and a healthy.
JS

Happy Holidays

Insane Christmas Decorations

In the spirit of the Holiday Season, here are five SIX videos that I can't stop watching:

Blake Griffin's Top 10 Dunks



This was posted on Twitter by--well, I forget. If it was you, sorry. But yeah, it's official, Blake Griffin makes me want to watch basketball. I'm sure he'll get busted for something soon enough, or make some heinous PR move, or give out tainted capons on Christmas Day, but until then, he gets the love.



The Making of the 2011 Chevrolet Volt



This was posted on just about every Tech blog. I don't care though. This is the first new-wave technology car that actually made my eyebrows move. And considering it's a Chevy, well, that's saying something.



Fast Food Sushi by Epic Meal Time



Via @dpante, the Epic Meal Time boys (and girl) have been known to bring the pain. Surely you remember such classics as the Massive Meat Log and the Greasiest Sandwich Ever. Fast Food Sushi continues their reign of terror on our minds and arteries. And I feel really bad saying this, but, um, some of that "sushi" looks really good.



Rudolph (You Don't Have To Put On The Red Light)



Via Devour, this mashup is threatening to become one of my all-time favorite Christmas songs. Pure genius.



North Point's iBand Presents: Christmas Music



This is Devour's latest. I know our collective attention spans are perilously short, but the seven minutes it will take to watch this is so worth it. Just don't tell these guys that iPads are meant to be consumption-only devices. They might not like that.

UPDATED

Fight Club For Senior Citizens



Do I even need to comment on this?


And that's all I've got for now, folks.

Happy Holidays,
JS

Death of a Racehorse

W.C. Heinz

Every now and again, Deadspin's Tommy Craggs excerpts "a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime." This is a great thing, for a bunch of reasons, but mostly because sports writing is severely undervalued and can always use a good shot in the arm.

I was recently going through some and found a piece, a real short one, "Death of a Racehorse," by W.C. Heinz, from a 1949 edition of the New York Sun. DOAR is so moving, so well-written, and so powerful that I couldn't not share it.

Again, this is me re-posting the contents of a Deadspin post, which you can find here, which is a re-posting of a W.C. Heinz piece from 1949, which was later anthologized in What A Time It Was. (I just want to be quite clear that I did not write what I'm about to post, nor did I originally think of re-posting it. The Internet can be funny about these things).

All e-galese aside, here it is, "Death of a Racehorse," by W.C. Heinz:

They were going to the post for the sixth race at Jamaica, two year olds, some making their first starts, to go five and a half furlongs for a purse of four thousand dollars. They were moving slowly down the backstretch toward the gate, some of them cantering, others walking, and in the press box they had stopped their working or their kidding to watch, most of them interested in one horse.

"Air Lift," Jim Roach said. "Full brother of Assault."

Assault, who won the triple crown ... making this one too, by Bold Venture, himself a Derby winner, out of Igual, herself by the great Equipoise ... Great names in the breeding line ... and now the little guy making his first start, perhaps the start of another great career.

They were off well, although Air Lift was fifth. They were moving toward the first turn, and now Air Lift was fourth. They were going into the turn, and now Air Lift was starting to go, third perhaps, when suddenly he slowed, a horse stopping, and below in the stands you could hear a sudden cry, as the rest left him, still trying to run but limping, his jockey — Dave Gorman — half falling, half sliding off.

"He broke a leg!" somebody, holding binoculars to his eyes, shouted in the press box. "He broke a leg!"

Down below they were roaring for the rest, coming down the stretch now, but in the infield men were running toward the turn, running toward the colt and the boy standing beside him, alone. There was a station wagon moving around the track toward them, and then, in a moment, the big green van that they call the horse ambulance.

"Gorman was crying like a baby," one of them, coming out of the jockey room, said. "He said he must have stepped in a hole, but you should have seen him crying."

"It's his left front ankle," Dr. J.G. Catlett, the veterinarian, was saying. "It's a compound fracture; and I'm waiting for confirmation from Mr. Hirsch to destroy him."

He was standing outside one of the stables beyond the backstretch, and he had just put in a call to Kentucky where Max Hirsch, the trainer, and Robert Kleber, the owner, are attending the yearling sales.

"When will you do it?" one of them said.

"Right as soon as I can," the doctor said. "As soon as I get confirmation. If it was an ordinary horse I'd done it right there."

He walked across the road and around another barn to where they had the horse. The horse was still in the van, about twenty stable hands in dungarees and sweat-stained shirts, bare-headed or wearing old caps, standing around quietly and watching with Dr. M.A. Gilman, the assistant veterinarian.

"We might as well get him out of the van," Catlett said, "before we give him the novocaine. It'll be a little better out in the air."

The boy in the van with the colt led him out then, the colt limping, tossing his head a little, the blood running down and covering his left foreleg. When they saw him, standing there outside the van now, the boy holding him, they started talking softly.

"Full brother of Assault." ... "It don't make no difference now. He's done." ... "But damn, what a grand little horse." ... "Aint he a horse?"

"It's a funny thing," Catlett said. "All the cripples that go out, they never break a leg. It always happens to a good-legged horse."

A man, gray-haired and rather stout, wearing brown slacks and a blue shirt, walked up.

"Then I better not send for the wagon yet?" the man said.

"No," Catlett said. "Of course, you might just as well. Max Hirsch may say no, but I doubt it."

"I don't know," the man said.

"There'd be time in the morning," Catlett said.

"But in this hot weather—" the man said.

They had sponged off the colt, after they had given him the shot to deaden the pain, and now he stood, feeding quietly from some hay they had placed at his feet. In the distance you could hear the roar of the crowd in the grandstand, but beyond it and above it you could hear thunder and see the occasional flash of lightning.

When Catlett came back the next time he was hurrying, nodding his head and waving his hands. Now the thunder was louder, the flashes of lightning brighter, and now rain was starting to fall.

"All right," he said, shouting to Gilman. "Max Hirsch talked to Mr. Kleberg. We've got the confirmation."

They moved the curious back, the rain falling faster now, and they moved the colt over close to a pile of loose bricks. Gilman had the halter and Catlett had the gun, shaped like a bell with the handle at the top. This bell he placed, the crowd silent, on the colt's forehead, just between the eyes. The colt stood still and then Catlett, with the hammer in his other hand, struck the handle of the bell. There was a short, sharp sound and the colt toppled onto his left side, his eyes staring, his legs straight out, the free legs quivering.

"Aw ——" someone said.

That was all they said. They worked quickly, the two vets removing the broken bones as evidence for the insurance company, the crowd silently watching. Then the heavens opened, the rain pouring down, the lightning flashing, and they rushed for the cover of the stables, leaving alone on his side near the pile of bricks, the rain running off his hide, dead an hour and a quarter after his first start, Air Lift, son of Bold Venture, full brother of Assault.

**

Enjoy Thanksgiving, everyone.
JS

Highly Complimentary

Surely, at this midway point in November, seasonal affective disorder already beginning to churn, shops filled with cheap Christmas decorations, people angrily dismissing those who say Happy Holidays, the same old tunes coming from the radio, the same holiday arguments beginning to take shape, weekends filled, cheap electronics getting cheaper, surely, you could use some shit to read, right?

-This is the final essay in David Foster Wallace's Consider the Lobster (which for some reason is NOT included in the iBooks version), a stirring piece about John Ziegler, conservative talk radio host, and while it was published in '05, it could not be more applicable at this late date.

-This is an op-ed piece by Warren Buffet, and I think John Gruber's description of it pretty much sums it up:

Warren Buffett, well-known foe of capitalism, thanks the U.S. government for its efforts to prevent an economic collapse two years ago.

-Here is a Safari extension called "Facebook Neue," for all those who agree that Facebook.com is one unwieldy, ugly mutha.

-Yeah, we've all heard about the TSA scanners, and the naked pictures, and the junk groping, but the reality is that these scanners could be dangerous to our health, and haven't been proven to actually make anybody safer. So why are they still being instituted, even fought for? Lobbyists, anyone?

-Alexia Tsotsis writes about something I've been saying for a while now: the phone call is dead.

-This is a gigantic piece from The New Yorker on Nick Denton, the head of Gawker Media. Worth your time if you're at all interested in the future of journalism.

-David Pogue's review of the Samsung Galaxy Tab seems to be the most fair of them all.

-Everyone heard about Caitlin Burke, right? The woman who solved a Wheel of Fortune puzzle with only one letter showing on the board? I, like many (most likely), thought she guessed/got lucky/took a shot in the dark. Turns out that's not the case.

-Do you like true crime stories? Are you somebody (I am) who thinks that most of the chatter about cyber crimes and identity theft  is born out out of people not keeping their identities secure? Read this piece. It'll change your mind.

-Mikey "Eyedea" Larsen passed away on 10/16/10. I hadn't been listening to his stuff much recently, but when I was, boy, did it blow me away. I was fortunate enough to see him live once, and his manic energy is something I will never forget. This is a review of the benefit show that took place in his honor.

-Amy Hempel, one of my favorite writers, and probably one of the greatest living American short story writers, did a rare extensive interview with the Paris Review in '03. Here it is.

-For those apt to swoon at the mention of JD Salinger's name, here is the story of one your (our) brethren attempting to track down a copy of the rare short story "A Girl I Knew."

-This is the Rolling Stone review of Kanye West's forthcoming My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. Spoiler: it is highly complimentary. Double spoiler: it makes me giggle.

-When the iPad was first released, it was said that the iPhone was actually born out of the effort to perfect the iPad, which is interesting because one would think it would have been the other way around. Regardless, there is a long history of Apple attempting to bring tablet computing to the mainstream, and this is a really interesting piece that attempts to document that process.

-Bart Scott, a linebacker for the New York Jets, talks a whole bunch of smack every Sunday. But don't let that get in the way of realizing that this is a guy who truly cares about his hometown and the people who live there.

-The iPad gets knocked every so often for being a toy, a superfluous consumption device for those with disposable income. Just don't tell that to the children in this story.

And as always, let's finish with a video:


Roy's Jeans - Video by Self Edge from Self Edge on Vimeo.


More soon,
JS

The "Aims Of Course" Section

The best lunch you will ever have.

Well, I'm back from my wedding/honeymoon interlude, and your faithful correspondent is happy to report that the married life is, in fact, all it is cracked up to be. The wedding turned out just as we'd hoped (that is to say, amazing), and the fact that nobody wound up in the lake was a terrific bonus. Barcelona was equally wonderful. If changing our names, leaving behind our families (and school loan debt), and never coming back was an option, we'd be learning Catalan and preparing to make the move.

Alas, that's not possible, so instead, here's a bunch of articles, videos, and other assorted detritus that's been keeping my attention the past couple of weeks***.

-While in Barcelona, on 10/10/10, it started surfacing that the Simpson's "couch gag" that night was one for the ages and supposedly story-boarded by legendary social commentator/graffiti artist/public nuisance, Banksy. The video went viral and there was some debate if it had actually even aired on FOX (if you haven't seen it yet, you'll understand why), or if it had just been planted on YouTube and made to look like it had aired (which also added an unintentional layer of commentary regarding the state of television). Turns out it did air, and Banksy was the genius behind it, which only makes it awesome-er. Take the time to watch it, believe me.

-Continuing in our theme of old news, here's the fake/satirical senior thesis PowerPoint presentation a Duke female made about all of the athletes she fornicated with while in school. Again, genius.

-This is a write-up of a study review conducted by scientists at the University of Manchester that suggests that cancer is a man-made disease, caused by environmental factors such as pollution and diet.

-If you're a Mac user, or any computer user, really, you are well-aware of the dangers of distraction. Our computers are loaded with websites, apps, and games that, when combined with the speed of our internet connections and the efficiency of our machines, threaten our ability to get shit done. Gigaom has a list of ways to fight this.

-This piece is from The Huffington Post and presents a fascinating idea--what if the reason Americans are so fat is because we're treating obesity with the same "just say no" approach that was and is so unsuccessful with drug addicts? This is yet another piece really worth your time. You'll be really surprised to see just how close some people's eating habits are to drug habits.

-"Homemade Spacecraft," courtesy of Luke Geissbuhler and Vimeo, is one of the coolest videos you'll watch this week, and probably next too. Pardon me for sounding old, but kids today, man, they don't know how good they have it.

-The Yankees season ended last we--shit, that's all I can bring myself to type about it. During the ALCS, Joe Posnanski, one of our most talented living baseball journalists, re-posted his '03 piece on Tony Pena, current Yankees bench coach and then-manager of the Kansas City Royals. If you don't get misty at points during this, I question the assumed presence of a beating heart in your chest.

-More recently in SI is this piece from Jeff Pearlman on Manhattanville Men's Basketball Coach Pat Scanlon. Very cool stuff.

-Kanye is going in. That's really the only way you can look at it. His G.O.O.D Fridays stuff, his two official singles, "Power" and "Runaway," an upcoming album, and now this, the full-length short film for "Runaway." Even if you don't like Kanye, you should pay attention, because we're currently watching as one man yet again pushes an entire music genre and the associated culture in a new direction.

-The Amateur Gourmet is a great food blog--fun, well-written, and delicious. Adam Roberts is the man behind it and he recently posted his offering to the "It Gets Better" campaign and it's such a fantastic piece of writing. I'm a sucker for family stories and this one nails it. Kudos, Adam.

-Apple (you didn't think I wouldn't include SOMETHING about Apple, right?) recently upgraded their MacBook Air line and as usual, they are sexy as shit. I really, really wish I had a need for a notebook computer, but I don't. Of course, there's been a bunch of debate about where these new products fit into the current technological landscape, especially from a company that recently declared the netbook dead and buried. Well, here's a well thought-out answer.

-Okay, fine--one more Apple-related post. This is from the Bloomberg "Game Changers" series. The Steve Jobs story. Danielle watched this with me and was captivated, so yeah, you definitely don't need to be a nerd to enjoy.

-I'm on a David Foster Wallace kick again, and luckily, in 2010, the internet is awash in his stuff. Here's the syllabus from the English 102 class he taught at Illinois State University. It’s disgusting--the man even wrote the shit out of the "aims of course" section of a syllabus! This is an "unpublished story" of DFW's, posted on the extremely cool blog 454 W 23rd St New York, NY 10011-2157. Now, I did some research and it turns out that this "unpublished story" is two parts from a reading he did on 12/6/00 at the Lannan Foundation, where he called them and another piece he read in the middle, “three fragments from a longer thing.” Here’s the transcript of that event, too. My suggestion? Read both posts—you’ll get a feel for the “unpublished” piece, as well as for what he was going for at the reading. And finally is this piece from the NY Times, about Karen Green, DFW’s widow, an artist in her own right, and how her husband’s death is influencing her work and her life.

-Finally, is this video from Grant Achatz, the chef/wonderchild behind Alinea:



Ever wanted to know how the mind of a genius chef works? This explanation of "flavor bouncing" is a start.


That's all for now, folks. Oh, and if Artificial Night and my Twitter feed wasn't enough for you, I now have a Tumblr, too, so be sure to check out Not Stolen. Permanently Borrowed. There's already some fun shit being posted there, too.

And again, stay tuned for some upcoming food snuff stuff.

Always,
JS

***It should be noted that, theoretically, I've got a bunch of posts coming about our time in Barcelona, especially our meals at ABaC and Comerç, 24, two of the greatest meals of our lives. As I previously remarked via Twitter, I didn't shoot food porn during those meals; I shot a food snuff film. But yeah, again, those posts are coming, I promise.

It's Going To Be Rough Shoving Your Gut Into One

In all likelihood, this will be my last blog post for a while--possibly until mid-October.

You see, I'm getting married.

Tomorrow marks one week to the day that me and my best friend will agree to drive each other crazy for the rest of our lives.

So between the prep, and the big day, and the honeymoon, yeah, I won't be back for a bit.

--

After the tremendous success of my last post, I decided to go a similar route. And really, what better way to go out then with a bunch of delicious shit to read to tide you over until my triumphant return from Spain, armed with food porn-alicious shots of seafood?

Anyhow:

This is a piece called, "So You Wanna Be a Chef." It's by Anthony Bourdain, taken from his latest offering Medium Raw: A Bloody Valentine to the World of Food and the People Who Cook. It's a fun piece that offers some serious advice to those considering culinary arts school, offered up in the usual Bourdain manner.

Next is a couple of pieces by Austin Seraphin, a blind Apple fan. This is from June, a post about his first week with his new iPhone, and this is from September, a post about his purchase of a new iMac. Both will put Apple products, and technology in general, in a whole new perspective for you. Fascinating reads, seriously.

This is a short, but mind-blowing piece about the REAL rules of Monopoly, or at least, one rule in particular. I am one of the many who hasn't been playing by/with this rule, like, ever, and could see how adapting it would change the game entirely.

I debated including this piece from New York Magazine about Machiavellian pizza-maker Anthony Mangieri for a couple of reasons--first, it's old, from July of '09. But it's such an intense read, I just couldn't resist. Also, after I read it, and went to look up when and where I could get some of his uber-authentic pizza, (CAUTION--DO NOT READ THE NEXT SENTENCE UNTIL AFTER YOU'VE READ THE ARTICLE) and saw that he'd followed-through on his threat/promise to close up shop and move to the West Coast, I was heartbroken. I didn't want the same to happen to you. But then I realized it almost makes me appreciate his efforts even more. It's rare that you see people stupidly sticking to their guns, even in the face of a bunch of truth and reality that you should do otherwise. Kudos, Mangieri. Kudos.

Hey, look--a negative review of Jonathan Franzen's "Freedom."

This oral history of the making of Goodfellas from GQ has been making the rounds on the internet for a few days now, but it's so good, I can't afford to not re-post it. God, I love that movie.

This week was Food Week at Gizmodo, which is way better than any of the other themed-weeks, including Shark. This is one of the many awesome pieces they posted, an explanation of how food cooks.

So it came out this week that Joaquin Phoenix's beard/rap career/retirement was all part of an elaborate film project, and I, for one, think it's awesome. I don't care how many people say now that they knew it was fake the whole time--you motherfuckers thought it was real and you know it. And the internet hate of it just goes to show how on-point the idea was in the first place. Anyway, here's Casey Affleck dishing on all the details to Roger Ebert, and here's Joaquin's recent interview with Letterman where he makes amends for the last one.

Using the two words "French" and "Laundry" in succession to any foodie sparks an immediate reaction. Thomas Keller's Yountville, California restaurant isn't just a restaurant--it's a food mecca, the closest thing we have in this country to a landmark culinary destination. Sophie Brickman was granted inside access to write a piece on working there and this is what she produced.

The NBA will be using a new type of jersey this year, made by Adidas, and Paul Lukas, uniform guru, has an inside look. The jerseys are cut slimmer than in the past, which means it's going to be rough shoving your gut into one, although the grounds for a grown man/woman to wear any jersey of any type while not actively engaged in the sport is shaky at best.

In what will probably be a weekly trend, here's another article on why Android's openness is not really that wonderful of a thing.

And here's a video for you--The Get Up Kids performing "I'll Catch You," the song that Danielle and I predicted almost a decade ago would be the first dance at our wedding:



In eights days we get to see our prediction come true.


More soon (ish),
JS

Really Patriotic Fellows

Don't let the smile fool you. In the words of Danielle, "That's one bad mutha."

I'm a big fan of Instapaper (if you don't know what that is, read here), and I've come to realize that, besides giving me an easy, enjoyable way to read all the shit I come across every day, it's also a good way of collecting blog ideas.

In the course of the last week or so, I've read a bunch of articles (9, actually) that before I was even half-finished with, figured would be great to share with others. Not wanting them to get lost in the rapidly-expanding Twitter timeline, I held on to them, and so without further ado:

-This is a piece on Ray Lucas' life after the NFL. I felt like it was an especially poignant read considering the recent end of Darelle Revis' holdout. I never judge professional athletes for trying to make as much money as possible, especially NFL players. Ray Lucas' story is the reason why.

-This is a huge piece, fittingly enough, from the New York Times Magazine on who else but Rex Ryan. Great read, even for those who find him obnoxious.

-This is from New York Magazine and is a great look at Jon Stewart and how/why The Daily Show is made. I say it all the time--if you're at all interested in politics/culture, and you're not watching The Daily Show on a regular basis, you're doing yourself a disservice.

-This is a fascinating piece from the Times on the people who filmed all of the United States' nuclear and hydrogen bomb tests in the 40's, 50's, and 60's. Just insane stuff. You might need a NYTimes login to read this. It's 2010. It's the NYTimes. Get over it.

-This is a great piece from TechCrunch that, hopefully, puts to bed the myth of Android being an "open" platform, or at the very least, open in a way that benefits you as a consumer.

-Ever heard of the Koch Brothers? Me neither. Read this piece from The New Yorker to find out who they are and how, among other things, they're responsible for much of the Right Wing/Tea Party War against the President. Really patriotic fellows.

-So this is a double--first, the first beta of iOS 4.2 was made available this week, and judging by the internet's response, it looks like the iPad is poised to become an even bigger success, if that's even possible. Here, iLounge gives screenshots of all of the big stuff. Bouncing off of that is this initial review of the first iPhone from John Gruber's Daring Fireball. After reading both of these, it's hard to believe only a little over 3 years separates the two.

-Last is this piece from the Harvard Kennedy School's website on why they teach a course that centers around "The Wire." If you know me at all, you know "The Wire" is my favorite TV show of all time, and I love the idea that Harvard recognizes the cultural and sociological significance of the series.

And then there's the videos. I've been aware of Arcade Fire for a while now, and really dug a couple of their songs, but with the release of "The Suburbs," their most recent offering, I've officially been converted. What a fantastic band. To pay homage to this notion, here's two videos--first, the official video of "Ready To Start," which is the first single from "The Suburbs." Bam:



And to take it back a bit, from the recent YouTube-streamed concert at MSG, a red-soaked rendition of "Power Out/Rebellion." Pow:




That's all for now. Please send me any thoughts/reactions to any of these pieces.

JS

The Burlington Coat Factory Islamic Cultural Center That Contains A Prayer Room

See? Not nearly as catchy as "The Ground Zero Mosque."

I've got a big post coming (a review of the delightful pie shop "Four & Twenty Blackbirds") but for now, here's a couple of things to check out on your lunch break:

This Op-Ed piece by Frank Rich is all you need to read if you're at all curious/looking for the final word about/regarding the above-mentioned Islamic Cultural Center that is set to be built on the sacred ground that is a former Burlington Coat Factory. I'm a (real) New Yorker, so people from "other places" using 9/11 for their political gain is nothing new to me, but it's particularly odious this time. Rich sets the record straight, I hope, but doubt, for the last time.

And there's this Flickr set by photographer Mike Adams. His subject?

Mike Tyson's abandoned Southington, Ohio mansion. Insanely interesting. Insanely creepy. Totally worth a look.


That's all for now.

JS

The Suburbs

Blood-Free: Technological Tales of Great Customer Service

Click all pictures to enlarge

“If it bleeds, it leads.”

This is the official/unofficial mantra of the news that we consume in 2010. Mainstream, pundits, bloggers--they all follow it, sometimes unknowingly.

Positive news doesn’t have the same traction as negative news. I get it. A grizzly murder gets, and holds, our attention quicker and for longer than the goings-on at the local community center.

It’s bad enough that this modern-day yellow journalism has infected our political system. But now, tech news, the one place I’ve been able to go for people reporting happily on the things they love, is being destroyed.

--

We all know the story of how Gizmodo purchased a potentially-stolen iPhone 4 prototype. They took pictures of it, dissected it, posted about it, got a bunch of page views, got some coverage out of it, got a lawsuit out of it, got shunned, and probably will always be shunned, by Apple, and we all cared for like, two days, that is until another radical conservative got caught on the wrong end of a gloryhole, or that cancer-free guy who rides bikes a lot peed out liquid steroids, or something shinier and brighter came along.

In the words of Shawn Carter: on to the next one.

Right?

Wrong.

Instead, something strange happened. Gizmodo, quite the influential tech blog, historically a place deemed a safe haven for Apple fanboys (In some ways, most tech blogs have at least some portion of the Apple fanboy gene), became decidedly--anti-Apple. Naturally, they covered the fact that Apple was preparing to sue the pants off of Gawker media, their parent company, with a fair amount of venom.

But then, the iPhone 4 came out. Like, for real.

And AntennaGate happened. (Sorta)

And Gizmodo decided to hit Apple. Hard.

And they kept going and going--anti-Apple posts every day, or what seemed like every day.

It got so bad that during the AntennaGate press conference, when Steve Jobs revealed that, yes, the iPhone 4 was dropping more calls than the 3GS, Gizmodo tweeted:

Yikes. Data says the iPhone 4 drops more calls than the 3GS.

And that would have been fine, except in the next breath, Jobs pointed out that the “higher” dropped call number was something like 1 in every 100, a microscopic amount. I tweeted in response:

@Gizmodo Probably should have waited to hear that it's less than 1% worse. You guys are a joke. Seriously.

It was clear that Gizmodo, now frothing at the mouth to make Apple look bad (an interesting stance to take, considering they’re the ones who purchased a potentially stolen prototype and displayed it for the world to see, but maybe I’m the crazy one), had given up sticking to that basic journalistic tenet of waiting for the entire story to play out before reporting on it, and even worse, taking a stance on it, putting them in the precarious spot of becoming the Andrew Breitbarts of tech journalism. And it is only recently that they seem to have eased up on the gas a bit.

Anyway, I’ve gone on for too long to make my point. Besides, Gizmodo isn’t the only tech site guilty of this practice, of letting “if it bleeds, it leads” style journalism become the norm.

So what’s an indie blogger to do?

--

I got my iPhone 4 on Wednesday, 7/28. Naturally, after syncing, I tested the death touch and the death grip. Neither really seemed to work, but I have good coverage in my immediate sphere of influence. But on Saturday, 7/31, after having the phone for not even a full three days, right smack in the middle of getting my fiancee to her surprise wedding shower, I realized I was going to have to take my iPhone 4 back to Apple.

The problem wasn’t antenna-related, though.

The phone--it clicked.

Back up--I like my iPhone clean and as smudge-free as possible. I have those black Apple microfiber cloths everywhere--a couple at home, one at work, one in my messenger bag. Sitting on the couch, trying not to be too openly nervous about the impending party, I went to rub the back glass plate of the phone, as beautiful as it is fragile, I suppose. When I pressed down near the micro SIM tray, it felt, and sounded, like the whole thing--clicked. Since the surface is reflective, you couldn’t see the piece actually depress, but you could hear it, plain as day--a click. Like a muted, but sharper, version of the sound you get after pressing the die-encased-in-a-plastic-bubble in that board game Trouble.

Not good.

I did it for Danielle a couple of times, just to make sure I wasn’t going crazy. She heard it.

Not good.

I decided that it was possible that the SIM tray wasn’t slotted in just right. When I tried to pop it out, and couldn’t without having to put a severe amount of force behind the SIM ejector, I realized something was wrong.

A quick search online came back with a couple of hits on the Macrumors forums about people having the same problem. One person said that they’d already brought the phone in to Apple and were given a new one on the spot. Another said they would eventually bring it in, but that the low stock of iPhone 4’s led them to believe that they would be better off waiting.

I, anal technology bitch that I am, knew that I would not be able to live with this clicking phone. I clicked that thing so many times that day--I was clicking it while my wife-to-be opened up the china we’ll someday serve Thanksgiving dinner to our family on.

After a wonderful party, and after unloading a ridiculous amount of gifts, I sat down to make an appointment at the Genius Bar for the next day, Sunday. Danielle saw what I was doing, and, in one of the thousands of instances where she proves just how much she knows me, suggested I make the appointment for that night, if one was available, rather than wait until the next day.

(Understand--we were both exhausted. Dead tired. But she knew I would not be happy about this all night. Hands-off, fellas.)

So I made an appointment for 8pm that night. We went off to the Apple store, got there early (were thanked for this) and within 15 minutes, I was holding a new iPhone 4.

Getting it involved me clicking the back plate twice for the guy who helped me, who after the two clicks said, “Yeah, we’re gonna need to get you a new phone.”

And this is why I am loyal to Apple products.

Because I can take their products directly to them. And if something is genuinely wrong with it, they fix it. And if it’s something that can’t be fixed, they give me a new one.

That’s what I’m paying the premium for.

And it goes without saying that the guy couldn’t have been nicer. We chatted--he told me that he had heard about this issue, but had only seen it himself once before. We joked about AntennaGate. I asked--just to be sure--that my first iPhone 4 would be wiped. He said he would bring it back out and let me wipe it myself, just so I could rest easy that night

(All of this took just enough time for Danielle to try out the Magic Trackpad, give me the thumbs-up, have me try it, love it, and purchase one. Literally. Like, she walked back with it in her hands before I could finish signing the work order forms. Damn you, Jobs!)

Good news--my new iPhone 4 doesn’t click.

--

Not everything Apple makes is perfect. The mixed reception the iPhone 4 “bumper” case has received highlights an area where 3rd party companies are far ahead of Apple--iPhone cases, a lucrative market, I’m sure. I know my household has spent a decent chunk of change on them, not to mention time seeking out the latest and greatest.

Speck is one of those companies--they create great products. I still think their “Candyshell” iPhone case is one of the few out there that adds to the aesthetic of the phone, while adding a minimal amount of bulk, and still remains a snug fit on the phone while not rendering it impossible to get off. I’ve suggested Speck cases to family and friends, and they’ve all reported good things.

So it came as a surprise when both of the Speck “Candyshells” in my house broke:

To be fair, Danielle broke both of them, and she puts pretty heavy wear on her phone. But still, to break in the same exact way, at about the same time, highlights a design/manufacturing flaw.

Danielle, the queen of returning shit, called up Speck and asked if she could get her money back. If we still had the receipts and original packaging, this would have been possible. Seeing as we bought both of these cases about eight or nine months ago, this wasn’t an option. Speck suggested that they send us two new Candyshells, certainly a fair compromise. But then Danielle, (remember, I told you, she can return anything) told them how we already had one iPhone 4 in the house, and would soon be upgrading the other 3GS, and so would it be possible to exchange the broken Candyshells for iPhone 4 cases?

Just to recap--she asked to exchange two broken, used, iPhone 3GS cases, with no receipt or packaging, for two brand new cases, completely different models, during a time when iPhone 4 cases are at a premium (Speck is one of the companies that Apple is using in their free case program).

Naturally, Speck said, “Sure.”

I couldn’t believe it.

They e-mailed her a list to pick from. We picked. The cases came in a week.

The GeoMetric and the Fitted. Still can’t believe it.

Maybe that’s why I took the pictures that I took.

Well, that and I mean, who doesn’t love iPhone porn? Check out the complete gallery here:

Apple & Speck Demonstrate Great Customer Service (8/6/10)

--

At a time when tech news, most news, really, is so negative, so reactionary, I think it’s important to point out that good does exist out there. That customer service, good customer service, can still be found.

It doesn’t mean that companies can ship faulty products, although I don’t see Speck’s cases or the iPhone 4 as faulty, but it is reassuring to know that I’m spending money not just on a piece of plastic or glass or aluminum, but on the unwavering guarantee behind it.

And I hope Gizmodo eventually finds its way back to where it once was, because they’re too good otherwise to ignore.

As for Artificial Night, well, we're nothing but a mere grain of sand in the desert of blogs, but for today, at least for one day, there’s no blood on my hands, or on your screens.


More soon,
JS

The Health Inspector of our Buffet

Having known what I was going to post this morning since Friday, it was fitting that yesterday, WikiLeaks.org, an online whistle-blower site, posted thousands of classified military field reports about the war in Afghanistan.

We're at a point in history where, news-wise, we are no longer bound by time, channel, source, or slant. Those who flock to the extreme ends of either side of any debate believe they are the only ones in full-possession of "the truth," while the fact is that they are the most sheltered from reality.

What is true is that mainstream news sources are dying. They are too loyal to outdated models, too slow to change, too in-debt to networks and corporations.

The pundits can't be trusted as a source of news either--they're a source of opinion on the news, also tasked with turning a profit, selling ad time, and staying relevant, all eventually turning to Lady Gaga-esque techniques that sell the spectacle and not the substance.

The bloggers, the Wild Wild Internet, can't be trusted either. The same rules of fact and source aren't in place, and much like the pundits, the Internet offers us all the ability to run and hide behind whatever we'd like to believe, rather than what we're being forced to see.

So what's left?

The buffet line--the process of choosing a little news from here, a little news from there. There is no one fountain of news that we can go to and expect to receive the full picture, but by piecing together items from various sources, we can consider ourselves as up-to-speed as possible.

But we need to be responsible eaters. No one will force us to take a balanced meal. If we'd like, we can take only dessert, or only shrimp cocktail, or a disgusting mix of both, which for the most part, is what we're doing, and then blaming the power's that be when we develop diabetes and gout.

I recognize that I can't convince everyone to be responsible. What I'm more concerned with is that there is someone out there not focusing on reviving the old model, or selling their opinion, or occupying a niche. The health inspector of our buffet, if you will.

On Friday, ESPN's Bill Simmons posted a new column, a two-part mailbag. In the second part, someone asked:

Who is the funniest man alive right now? Personally I like Zach Galifianiakis -- he's the Kevin Durant of this category. We know he will be great, but he isn't quite there yet.

This led Bill to come up with an "MVP of Comedy" from 1975 and on. For 2004, he wrote:

2004: Dave Chappelle, Jon Stewart (tie)
Season 2 for Chappelle and a breakout year for Stewart (the 2004 election, his "Crossfire" appearance, the release of his book and his Peabody Award).

I'm only a recent Jon Stewart convert. During the period Simmons is referring to, I took politics too seriously to give someone like Stewart credit, never appreciating the fact that he insisted on pointing out the he shouldn't be taken seriously. I was happy to oblige.

Now that I've learned to temper my fiery political rage, I have a deep respect for Stewart, and not just his show. His leanings aside, he is fair, even-toned, intelligent, and the fact that this needs to be pointed out highlights where we are at the moment, news-wise.

So I clicked on the Simmons link and proceeded to sit and watch, amazed, as Jon Stewart, the health inspector of our buffet, spent 14 minutes eviscerating Paul Begala and Tucker Carlson:



The amount of quotable lines in there is mind-blowing. An amazing performance. An MVP performance, if you will. The Wikipedia page for Crossfire even links to a quote from CNN CEO Jonathan Klein saying that part of the reason Crossfire was canceled in 2005 was because of the Stewart appearance.

Jon Stewart may say that The Daily Show is a comedy show, on Comedy Central, and it is, but this isn't totally true. What The Daily Show does is point out the hypocrisy, and the ridiculousness, and sometimes, the flat-out lies told by the people delivering and/or covering the news, and the mostly unintentionally hilarious way that they tend to do it.

Which makes the choice of using comedy as the vehicle to point out these issues quite fitting, when you think about it.

So check out that video, and maybe even check out The Daily Show if you don't already. You'll laugh at the humor, and because of the truth, and maybe learn a few things in the process.

Most importantly, keep yourself in check while at the buffet.

Nobody's going to do it for you.


More soon,
JS

The iPad Unboxing

Danielle lent a hand, or two, as usual.

On Saturday, April 3rd, 2010, Apple released the iPad. What's transpired since has been covered far and wide, including here at Artificial Night, so I won't spend too much time talking about the runaway success of the product.

(Even though it was supposed to fail. You know, because--pad. Periods. Women. Yeah.)

Readers of this space know that I fancy myself an amateur photographer. I wind up taking a lot of pictures of technology and food, usually at inopportune times, and my personal iPad unboxing was similarly documented.

Except somehow, I wound up totally forgetting I took the pictures.

But I rediscovered them the other day, and just couldn't resist sharing, so--here they are:

The iPad Unboxing

Check 'em out, give me your feedback, drool if you don't own an iPad yet--whatever makes you happy.


More soon,
JS

The New Town Square: A Place for us Digital Citizens

image via Google Image

Let's get this out of the way--I wrote this using my iPad.

Much like my Apple-centric mobile email signatures, (Sent from my iPhone, Sent from my iPad), my life is being tagged on a regular basis. I can send tweets from Twitter's official iPhone app, from Twitterific or HelTweetica on my iPad, from Echofon on my Mac, and from the increasingly mundane Twitter website while at work, as I die a slow death on the Dell they force on me. And you'll know where I sent them from (via Twitter for iPhone, via Twitterific, via Echofon, etc.) Also embedded in those tweets are my GPS coordinates, a feature that I've enabled twice and disabled once, and am leaning towards disabling again.

I am a Foursquare user. I check-in, or attempt to check-in, everywhere I go. I'm the "mayor" of three different locations and I've got a bunch of badges.

I tag myself, and others, in pictures--on Facebook, on Flickr, and on my MobileMe galleries.

So it actually makes sense that I'm tagging this post, too. It's the latest in literal, and figurative, technological tags. 21st century designer labels, if you will.

--

Robert Putnam is a political scientist who did a study in Italy of the connection between strong civic traditions and community networks and the ability for the local government to function efficiently. The study was so successful that he decided to try something similar in the United States, to see if "the civic traditions and local social and political networks were growing weaker and if the social structure in the United States was consequently becoming more like the ineffective local government in Italy (87)."

Regarding Putnam's book, "Bowling Alone," is the following from "Sociology For A New Century":

Putnam has tried to measure the decline of interaction in the United States, explore its implications, and trace its causes. He has presented an impressive collection of evidence demonstrating that, since the 1960's, there have been dramatic declines in the membership of groups of all kinds (PTA, the Girl Scouts, labor unions, the Red Cross, the Lions Club, even bowling leagues) and in many forms of civic engagement (voting, attending political rallies, volunteering for community groups). He believes that the decline in civic involvement has had negative consequences for American culture, attitudes, and behavior patterns. As people in the United States have become more isolated and socially disconnected, they have become less trusting and more suspicious and cynical. As participation in civic and group life declines, society is losing its ability to solve problems, meet common needs, and deal effectively with crises.

Putnam's study uncovered some of the following evidence:

• Membership rosters in organizations as diverse as the Elks, the PTA, and the Red Cross show declines of 25% to 50% since the 1960s.
• Time budgets, in which all activities over a single day were recorded by ordinary Americans in 1965, 1975, and 1985, indicate that the time spent on informal socializing and visiting is down by as much as 25%. Furthermore, time devoted to clubs and organizations has declined by as much as 50% over the period.
• Participation in collective political events (attending a rally or a speech or working for a political party) is off between 33% to 56% since the 1960's.
• National public opinion surveys show a drop of about 25% in membership in all sorts of groups, ranging from sports clubs to labor unions, since 1974. Church attendance is also down, perhaps by as much as 30%, since the 1960s.
• National surveys also show that the extent to which people say that other people can be trusted has dropped by roughly 33% since 1972 (93).

Basically, America is becoming isolated, withdrawn, and paranoid, at least that's what the data (admittedly now almost 20-year-old data) seems to indicate.

So how does this relate to the notion of "Sent from my iPad?"

--

I was having a conversation recently with a friend (the "how" will come into play later) about the iPad. When asked how I liked it so far, I gave my standard initial reply--that it's an amazing first step towards being the game changer that I think it will eventually be, but certainly not perfect. The friend, L, a female, said that she had recently been debating the iPad with someone. The crux of her argument was that multi-tasking (in the sense of having a device that puts everything in front of you, makes everything so accessible) is destroying society.

It's funny--for a generation raised on/with technology, we've got a surprising number of Luddites in the bunch--people who don't see the appeal or benefit of apps, people who don't know how to sort data on an Excel spreadsheet, people who don't know the difference between POP e-mail and IMAP. For me, we've reached a point where that type of knowledge isn't indicative of technological geekiness; it's part of a skill set required to stand out in the job market.

L went on to ask, "As a writer and a lover of books and the written word, how do you feel about the electronic medium for reading books?" I told her that I was hopeful, but hesitant and that I enjoyed my initial iBooks experience, even more than I had when using a Kindle or a Nook. And that technologically speaking, the iPad fulfilled my request that it improve the previous method, since I could now read in the dark, something the Kindle or Nook can't achieve. More specifically, I said, "I can't read a "real" book in the dark."

L replied, "Pretty soon the word book will have quotations around it," and this is where I have to divulge that we were having this conversation via Gchat, Gmail's built-in chat client. So really, L's response looked like this:

L: omg...pretty soon the word book will have "" around it.. :(

And that's where I began to develop what would become the foundation of this piece.

--

me: well, no i mean, that's my point--what makes something "real"

When I sent this to L, what I was getting at is: how do we define what makes a book, a book. Is it the pages and the ink and the binding? Or is it the content, the author, the way a tangible grouping of words has the ability to transport and teach? Perspective also dominates the viewpoint. Those who support a woman's right to choose an abortion call themselves Pro-Choice and those who oppose them Anti-Choice. Those who support banning abortion, or at the very least, making it a difficult option to choose, refer to themselves as Pro-Life and those who oppose them Anti-Life. The politics, in this instance, don't really matter. It's the semantics I'm interested in, the fight to understand adaptation. Is it the practice that changes, or just the definition? This would also become a question posed to Robert Putnam.

--

While his study seemed to show some alarming trends, some wondered if Putnam's data really backed-up his claims:

• Some criticized how Putnam defined community groups. The YMCA was considered a community group, but private, for-profit gyms were not.
• Some have pointed out that his measurement of civic engagement was limited to only well-established, traditional groups like the PTA or the Lions Club (case-in-point: I’m twenty-five and have no clue what the Lions Club is). Newer groups like neighborhood crime watch programs or Habitat For Humanity and temporary grassroots programs were not considered.
• Another research effort by Robert Wuthnow in 1994 showed that people are still joining groups, but they tend to be small and informal, making them hard to track. He found that about 40% of people belong to some type of support group, most being religion-themed (Bible study) but a large number are self-help groups that deal with addiction and special interest groups like book and music clubs.
• Everett Ladd argues that while the PTA has seen a drop in involvement, it can be accounted for by the development of new groups with similar goals, like Parent Activity Clubs and Parent Councils.

Then there was a survey done by Witte and Howard in 1999, which looked at the rise of groups in cyberspace. The terminology used indicates just how dated this information is (this is before Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, Foursquare, Yelp, Gowalla, etc.), but what is important is this:

(The) findings suggest that cyberspace is not populated by asocial, alienated isolates but rather by "digital citizens" who are finding new ways of forging community and connecting with others.

11 years later, and I think it might be time to revisit this notion.

--

me: that's the other thing too, and i feel like you can appreciate this train of thought--


i love the debate that the iPad has set off


i can't remember the last time technology garnered such public-wide debate


maybe when the prius was initally introduced




L: i LOVE IT!!! haha... i love a spirited debate with two strong sides.


yeah.


the alternative fuel cars was a big debate for a while.




me: and that's what's ironic to me--some people becry technology for eliminating the "town square" aspect of society


but I think it's quite the opposite




L: please elaborate


because im on that side of the fence




me: the townsquare is very much alive--it's just adapted


 L did not receive your chat.




L: sorry i got kicked off




me: s'ok--yeah, to me the townsquare is very much alive--it's just adapted to the 21st century


it goes back to the "real" argument--the townsquare is only evaporating if you refuse to update the definition of the townsqaure


it used to be when you talked to someone on AOL, you said you im'ed them


and then the AIM program became more popular and you said you talked to them on aim, and at the same type, skype started to show up


and all of these different online messaging programs


jabber, msn, chat rooms


now twitter and facebook chat and gchat


and you already start to see, i'm one of the converts--i just call it talking now


because this is how I talk to people--and frankly, it allows me to talk to more people more frequently, people who don't live near me or in the same time zone




L: excellent point




me: my townsquare exists over thousands of miles at any time of the day--with both friends and strangers


(this is turning into a blog post--thanks, L!)

I was going to sum this exchange up, edit it a bit, present it in a more "literate" form, but as this piece progressed, it become clear that I needed to include the source material, warts and all, because integration and acceptance is the key to what I'm describing above.

They naysayers may point out the grammatical mistakes, the misspellings, and the Internet lingo. But I would point out that in many ways, "e-talking" has taken many strides towards forming not only a vernacular, but a set of manners and customs:

• I use "--" and L uses "..." to indicate a dramatic pause, or that more is coming, understanding that what we've just sent might need a second to process.
• When I get the message that L did not receive my chat, she comes back a minute later and apologizes for it. She understands that I've got no way of knowing why she left abruptly, and follows standard "e-mores" to insure that I'm not offended.
• My response to her apology? "S'ok." Not only do I acknowledge her apology in a normal, understated way (God bless you/Thank you), I also do it in specific shorthand to make it sound more personable and--real.

That word again. We are obsessed with the notion of origin: real, organic, American-made. But what if the only thing that's real is change? What if, in our constant attempts to control the present, we only serve to lose sight of the effect we can have on the future? Rather than bemoan the passing of the written letter, or the telegraph, or the wired landline telephone, or the cordless landline phone, or the cellular phone, or email, or text messages, or Facebook messages, or tweets, why not plant yourself firmly in the now, and embrace the advancements that have given us a variety of ways to communicate with one another, and by doing so, help to become part of whatever comes next?

--

If you see Robert Putnam, tell him that we only communicate less if we refuse to update how we define communicate.

Tell him that our town square is shrinking only if we refuse to acknowledge how much its grown.

Our email addresses, our Twitter names, our Facebook profiles, our Playstation Network avatars, they're all just parts of our persona as digital citizens. No one part is greater than the sum. They are all pieces that fit together to form who we are, singularly and as a society, same as it's ever been. And if we're healthy, then they are changing and evolving on a daily basis.

Robert Putnam may have come to the conclusion that our group memberships and our our civic engagement was declining as our reliance on technology strengthened, but I'm not sure I agree with that. Just as I don't believe that ebooks will ever fully replace printed paper books, I don't think that Wii Bowling on the same Wi-Fi network will ever completely replace going to your local lane.

As digital citizens, we have the option.

And sometimes we'll choose one, and sometimes we'll choose the other--precisely the type of freedom technology is supposed to provide us with.

--

I wrote this on my iPad (typed it, actually, but, oh, shit--you get my point). Used Apple's Pages app, fanboy that I am.

But by the time I was done, I realized that I needed to edit the way I always edit--by printing the damn thing out and marking it up with a pen, picture-in-picture style evidence of what I set out to prove.

:)


More soon.

JS

It Was A Fine Day

As a big fan of John Cheever, I was delighted to take Jon Gruber's recent suggestion:

Read this while watching this.

Do it a couple of times, actually.


More soon.

(I promise.)

JS

There Will Be Bun (Or Not, Actually)

It's like a zen koan:

If a sandwich has no bun, is is still a sandwich?

There are few times in life when you find yourself in the position to experience something like KFC's Double Down. So when opportunity knocks, you best let the bitch in.

--

I first heard about the Double Down almost a year ago, through a blog any real foodie is familiar with: This Is Why You're Fat. That led me to Food Geekery's review of the sandwich, which led to me calling KFC to see if they still offered it. They didn't.

Fast-forward to April Fool's Day of this year. All of a sudden, it seemed as if KFC would be bringing the Double Down back. I didn't believe--couldn't believe it, at first--but it soon looked to be true.

April 12th.

So Danielle and I got in the car, along with three of our friends, and made the trip to our nearest hormonally-plump chicken outlet to experience life bun-free.

Your first clue that the Double Down isn't just some value-meal snacker-style "sandwich" is that it comes in a box. Or a coffin, depending on how you look at it.

Me, Joe, Kerry, from left-to-right. That's a lot of meat. And no sight of a bun for miles.

(Actually, I'm sure there were buns behind the counter, but--ride with me, okay?)

The sandwich. Our group wound up ordering 5 DD's. The first two were made with chicken that had already been cooked, which explains why the cheese isn't melted. The other three were made with chicken they cooked when we ordered. Honestly, I almost wish I'd gotten the "older" chicken, because mine was too hot to hold.

That's a fresh one. The Double Down is a big sandwich. The value meal, which came with a soda and potato wedges, is definitely a meal. I mean, I say that having ordered a biscuit too, but you get the picture.

I had to pull out a bit just so you could get an understanding of just how large this sandwich is. And for all of you shaking your heads, remember something--it's got less calories and fat than a Big Mac.

Danielle had to rip-and-gnaw into hers because it was so hot.  That's still a sexy cross-section.

Danielle is sort-of cradling it there, but this is another great example of the size.

I don't normally post blurry shots, but this was too good to pass up, from a marketing standpoint. If KFC had any balls, they'd caption this picture:

LOOK AT THOSE BREASTS!

Kerry and his grease-stained napkin. With no bun, grease is inevitable, I suppose.

You'll hopefully see this on This Is Why You're Fat soon. It's the "Double Down Dirty," which is a Double Down, except with a biscuit in the middle, and dipped in KFC gravy. The biscuit was Danielle's idea, the gravy, Joe's. Joe was adamant that the Double Down would be much-improved by ditching the "Colonel's Sauce" and adding gravy.

--

So how was the Double Down? It was delicious--in that KFC-you-know-this-is-terrible-for-you-but-shit-it-tastes-good way.

Is it a sandwich? I'd have to say probably not--the bacon, cheese, and sauce don't hold up between two big chicken breasts--especially on the thick end.

Will I make a habit out of eating three a week? Probably not. But I like what KFC is doing here--attacking the chicken sandwich on a meta level.

KFC--reinterpreting the sandwich status quo since 1952.

UPDATE

Reading this review of the Double Down by Slashfood reminded me--the Double Down is VERY salty. This most likely comes from the fact that you're essentially eating two chicken breasts at once, but still 1,380 mgs of sodium will surely have you guzzling water for the rest of the evening.

If you'd like better quality versions of the above images, check out the gallery:

The KFC Double Down


More soon.

JS