All My Pretentious Show Business Friends Have The iPhone

Finally got a chance to watch Werner Herzog's Rescue Dawn last night. It was slow to start and good when it got rolling and great by the finish--not a terrible way to spend just over two hours. Christian Bale turned in another intense and physically exhausting performance and Steve Zahn did a nice job in support. I thought it was fitting to check this out just a week after Memorial Day, during a time when a seemingly forgotten war is still being fought, cops are shooting other cops, and terms like "waterboard" have become part of the national vernacular. The story of Dieter Dengler (a true one) should be a lesson to us all, no matter what side of the political aisle we slouch towards--sacrifice is real, bravery is always commendable, and no one should ever be tortured. And now for The Sunday Review.

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-via CNN: This was posted on Friday, but it's just too cool to pass up an article about people and their obsession with kicks. The Sneaker Pimps tour gets a big shout-out and I especially love this quote from a woman regarding her sneakerhead boyfriend:

He will not walk through grass. He will not walk through dirt.

-via The New York Times: This is from Lens, which is a Times-sponsored photojournalism blog. Piggy-backing off a recent article regarding the resurgence of instant film in the Netherlands, Lens asked readers to send in their favorite Polaroid pictures and got back almost 1,000 responses. A bunch of them are featured, although the layout and navigation options are poor at best. Some really great pictures make it worth your trouble.

-via The New York Times: This is from the Business section and basically highlights all the positive aspects of Apple's app development system, which seems to contain many small business ideals, which is always a good thing.

-via The New York Times: A short piece on Todd Phillips, the director of the upcoming movie The Hangover. Considering that his resume includes Road Trip, Old School, and Starsky & Hutch, it was quite surprising to find out that his first film was Hated, a documentary on GG Allin.

-via The New York Times: This may be the feminist tendencies in me speaking, but I saw this piece on the link between Nancy Drew and the three female Supreme Court Justices (well two and one unconfirmed) and thought: how come I don't have to waste my time hearing about the books male SCJ's read as children? Next we'll be debating if Sonia Sotomayor really made disparaging remarks about hula hoops and what her favorite penny candy is.

-via The New York Times: Jerry Seinfeld on Blackberry/iPhone users--



-via The New York Times: I'm debating on starting a tag called That's Why You Watch Sports and if I do, this piece will certainly be filed under it. By Jeff Klein, it explores the relationship that the city of Detroit has with their Red Wings, and just how much a Stanley Cup win would mean to the city. I think I know who I'm rooting for now.

-via Deadspin: For any Mike & The Mad Dog fans out there, this piece is so worth it for the transcript of Francesa going batshit on Wednesday when a caller suggested that Joba Chamberlain was one the five best pitchers in baseball since he became a starter. Mike's right, it's an incredibly stupid statement to make, and I am also in the camp that believes Joba should be the heir to the Mariano throne, but it's nice to see that Francesa can still get the blood boiling every now and again.

-via Gizmodo: Screenshots of the working, polished versions of the new iPhone features? Yes, please!

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That's all for now, kids. Time to go watch the Yankees, and later on, some hockey, and in the meanwhile do some cleaning and reading--all vital parts of a quality Sunday.

Enjoy yours.

JS

Beware The Palm Pre

After taking the holiday weekend off, I missed out on serving up a random bunch of links to you, the reader, and I had some good stuff floating around today, so here we go:

via Sports Illustrated: This is a quickie piece by Ian Thomsen on how/why the Cavs are totally blowing it by wasting a bunch of masterful performances by Lebron. Dude is averaging 42.3 points in the Conference Finals--what more can he do?

via CNN: A thought-provoking piece by Ed Rollins of all people on why Republicans shouldn't stand in the way of the confirmation of Sonia Sotomayor for Supreme Court Justice.

via Engadget: The Palm Pre is coming, folks--and it's coming for your iTunes?

via Engadget: The Palm Pre is coming, folks--and it's coming for your Verizon contract?

via ESPN: Bill Simmons is my favorite sports writer, and he takes the NBA to task in this piece on the shameful state of their officiating. Why can't someone like Selena Roberts focus her energy on the questions Simmons is asking instead of digging up gossip column dirt on Alex Rodriguez?


More soon.

JS

This Is Hopefully Not The Next Gen iPod

via Cult of Mac, this iPod meat cake is one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen, hence why I had to share it.

There's nothing really wrong with meatloaf or mashed potatoes, although I fucking hate peas, but this just makes me want to vomit.

Not like this really looks like an iPod anyway, but still.

Here's a cross-section:



I swear, I'm close to gagging every time I look at this.


More soon.

JS

As If Dunkin' Donuts Wasn't Bad Enough

As a person interested in food (although not a foodie) (or at least I like to think so), I tend to get excited by the little things. 18/20 grade measuring cups. Truffle salt. Unblemished produce. Things that normal people don't even waste a second glance on. And normally, you wouldn't think of doughnuts as something that would belong on that list.

And that's probably because you haven't tried Voodoo Doughnuts.

With offerings such as the Butter Fingering (Devils Food, Vanilla, and crushed Butterfinger), the Triple Chocolate Penetration (Chocolate Doughnut, Chocolate glaze, and Cocoa Puffs), and the Cock-n-Balls, pictured here:



which is triple cream filled, can have a personalized saying on it, and comes in it's own pink box (but order ahead--get it?), it's easy to see that Voodoo Doughnuts is having a shitload of fun with their product, which is usually the first step towards something great.

Also--they sell a Nyquil & Pepto Glazed doughnut, which is currently hold thanks to those fuckers at the FDA. How cool is that?

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I had heard of Voodoo Doughnuts a while ago, had salivated over their product, and basically resigned myself to the fact that I would never get a chance to try any of it.

But then fate intervened.

Being the lucky fuck that I am, I have great friends, one of which recently traveled to Portland, Oregon, home of Voodoo Doughnuts. Nicole was kind enough to bring back not one, but two doughnuts for Danielle and I, both of which were just enjoyed in my office at work. Luckily, I took pictures:



This is the infamous Maple Bacon doughnut (don't know if that's the exact name). It is as delicious as it looks and sounds. There is no better combination than salty and sweet and the Maple/Bacon flavor combination is one the most classic examples of that. The only thing that is weird about this doughnut is the fact that more bakeries don't make it.



This is the Voodoo Doughnut, which is a voodoo doll-shaped doughnut filled with strawberry jam. Note the attention to details--a pretzel stick pushpin. The star here is the jam, which if I remember correctly, is made fresh, not poured from some 5-gallon slop bucket. The picture was taken post-cut, which is the reasoning for the somewhat messy appearance.

Be sure to check out Voodoo Doughnut's website and the menu especially.


More soon.

JS

Back From Vaca

Fresh off the 3.5 day weekend/holiday/Memorial Day festivities, and I'm back with the goodness, whether it be writing bullshit, literary hijinks, or Apple-bation.

Or all three!

Above is the June 1st cover of the New Yorker. What's cool about it is that the artist, Jorge Colombo, made the whole thing using an iPhone app. Brushes to be exact.

I don't know what this says about the future of artistic design principles, but it is still pretty cool. I think it's a neat way to "bridge the gap" and it's not that shabby of a picture, right?

Check out the story in The New Yorker, which also contains a video, made with Brushes Viewer, that shows how Colombo designed the cover.

The only question I have is this--if I explain to The New Yorker that I wrote a short story from start to finish and edited it on the iPhone, will they print it?


More soon.

JS

The $9,000 Cardboard Dresser

They're making furniture now too?

Sign me up, baby.

via Gizmodo.


More soon.

JS

As If Writing Wasn't Hard Enough

via Lifehacker, this is just an awesome find, especially for all my writer friends out there.

Tired of having all those functions like backspace and spell check turn you into a lazy writer?

Looking for something to ratchet up the pressure just that much more when you're trying to finish that story or novel?

Joey Daoud was and is.

And he has delivered.

Typewriter allows you to type, save to a text file, and print the document. There is no backspace function, no spell check, and no cut or paste functionality. If you want to force yourself to really focus and make every word count, Typewriter is an unyielding tool for forcing your thoughts to take shape before you commit them to the page.

I'm definitely going to pick this up tonight, and I'll let you all know how it works.

Anyone else out there interested?

Get Typewriter here.


More soon.

JS

What Wouldn't You Do?

Been super busy at work as the summer gets into full swing. Just some random thoughts:

-Has anyone seen the new Klondike commercial? The one where the guy gets waxed, first on his chest, and then his gens? And apparently "this is what he would do for a Klondike bar?" I tried to find a video but no such luck--feel free to send along if you find it. I've got some thoughts on this one:

First of all, Klondike bars suck. It's an ice cream square with chocolate on it. Big fucking deal.

Second, I think it's time to move past the "What would you do for a Klondike bar?" tag line. When Chester Cheeto starts sporting a new look, I think it's time to re-evaluate your marketing decisions. As a matter of fact, isn't that just the perfect in-a-nutshell moment for the US economy? Could there be a more obvious waste of money? The only reasonable explanation that Klondike still uses that stupid line would be that they have no marketing division, which you know is not the case. So really, is that what they are paying people to do? Come up with one new slogan in the past twenty fucking years?

Third, and most importantly, who in their right fucking mind wants to associate a delicious ice cream treat--with pubic hair? Or getting pubic hair (or any hair for that matter) ripped out from the root with hot wax?

It's downright infuriating.

-I'm not one to comment on celebrities and their faux-lives and their faux-problems and their faux marriages to other faux-people, because I think that addressing it as a real issue is where the problem starts. But I've seen this being mentioned lately and as someone who has a few young girls in my immediate family, I've got to say it:

Does this chick look fat to you? Fat? Get real people. While I think it's somewhat of a joke that Kate Winslet is the spokesperson for "women with curves," now we're going after Miley Cyrus? Because someone on Twitter said her thighs jiggle when she wears a bathing suit or some bullshit like that? This chick is what, 16? 17? Are we at that point as a society?

If so, I'm close to checking out and finding a different one.

-Finished Pygmy last night. Final decision?

Great book.

I wish I had time for a more in-depth review, but I don't, so I suggest you just go out and pick it up. Don't quit until at least page 50. Learn Pygmy's language. You won't be sorry.

Oh, and Chuck is #3 on the Times Best Sellers. Look at the other authors around him--Alexander McCall Smith, David Baldacci, Mary Higgins Clark, Stephenie Meyer (sic). These people don't sell books, they sell a brand, a product.

Kudos to Chuck and his followers.

-Could the Yankees be hotter right now? Really though, could they? Tex, how do you like hitting behind A-Rod? Little different than Nick Swisher, right?

Now it's time to unseat those division-leading Red--I mean, Blue Jays.

More soon.

JS

How To Trick Yourself Into Having Fun

I'm in the midst of Chuck Palahniuk's latest novel, Pygmy, and despite some initial hardship, I'm really starting to enjoy it. Anyone who knows me knows I have a real love for Palahniuk's writing, although like many first loves, things haven't always been perfect.

Chuck did an interview with Time Magazine, and the fine people over at The Cult were kind enough to provide us fans with a link, so I'm going to be kind enough to do the same for all of you. It's a fun little interview, although from the accompanying picture (seen above), it looks like Chuck may be sowing some artistic oats, or maybe he just got tired of the usual Edward Norton-esque attire.

Either way, Chuck gives some good insight, and is his usual sick-but-humorous self, like when he's asked about his inspiration for Pygmy:

When the Fight Club movie was going into production, I quit my job so I could write full-time. I needed something that would get me out of bed really early in the morning so I started volunteering at a homeless soup kitchen. People didn't know who I was or why I was there, so they started inventing stories about me. I was a registered sex offender and I'd just been released from prison and was being forced to do community-service work. I was a murderer, an arsonist — all these horrific things had been projected on me because no one knew what to make of this white guy who showed up and made toast at 5 o'clock every morning.

And you ran with it? You didn't say, "Actually, I'm not a murderer"?

Nah. I loved their stories better than the truth so I just stayed with it.

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More soon.

JS

I'm Busy June 24th

I don't know if it's me moving into old age, or maybe I'm just losing my edge, but I'm being seduced lately by movies that two, three years ago I would have spat on. I am actually excited about going to see Angels & Demons. I've laughed at the new Night At The Museum trailer. But the most flagrant of fouls came last night. Our friends Matt & Nicole came over for some drinks. Besides making the world's worst Red Bull and Vodka, I wound up watching a movie that, while it grossed a shade over $700 million worldwide, was just never on my radar--Transformers.

Now, as you can see from the above evidence, Megan Fox is reason enough to check Transformers out. I would go as far as to say she is the hottest actress in Hollywood right now. But here's the weird thing:

I thought Transformers was fucking awesome.

It may have been the fact that I was drinking. It may have been the fact that it was late and I was tired. But I was into it. Like, really into it. The cars, the action, the battle sequences--everything. Even the jokes were funny.

I don't know what this says about me and where I'm at in life, but I know one thing--I'm busy June 24th. Now let's Sunday Review like Monday will never come.

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-via The New York Times: As I write this, I'm watching Game 1 of the Red Wings/Blackhawks series. There's already been a crossbar hit and a couple of good opportunities for both squads, and the series isn't even five minutes old. Jeff Klein's article asks the question: can the playoffs keep being this good? I say yes. And I've got proof. By the time I finished this paragraph, Chicago scored.

-via The New York Times: This is a review by David Gates of Janet Frame's Towards Another Summer. David is smart as hell and a great writer and I love reading his reviews because I can always hear his voice in them--the mark of a true writer.

-via The New York Times: A video conversation with Jeffrey Eugenides where he discusses The Virgin Suicides, Middlesex, and the decline of Detroit. Really interesting stuff.

-via The New York Times: What I love about writing is the fact that you can take a topic that has been written about a million times before, switch the lens through which you tell the story, and produce something completely new and original. All New Yorkers my age have heard the stories of 70's-era New York, usually from our parents and various non-fiction (and fiction too--see Taxidriver) accounts. We've heard about it through the lens of the Son of Sam, the Bronx Zoo Yankees, the Blackout, the sanitation strike, and Studio 54, among others. In this article, Anthony DeCurtis ponders the future of New York in these bleak economic times through the lens of John Lennon and his time in the city that never sleeps.

-via The New York Times: Fascinating piece by Bruce Weber on Sid Laverents, described as an auteur of homemade films, who died on May 6th after living for a century.

-via The New York Daily News: As I'm sure many of you have heard, Notre Dame is under fire (if you can count 100 protesters as "under fire") for their decision to award President Obama an honorary degree and have him deliver the commencement address. I don't really get what right people think they have (Catholic or not) to tell Notre Dame what to do here. It's a private institution. It's the President of the United States. Get over it. Oh, and a big 'fuck you' to Arizona State University for not giving the President an honorary degree on the grounds that he "hasn't achieved enough yet." Way to take a stand. At least you got it right in 2005, when you awarded an honorary degree to Blake Edwards, director of such iconic films as The Pink Panther, The Return of the Pink Panther, The Pink Panther Strikes Again, Revenge of the Pink Panther, Trail of the Pink Panther, Curse of the Pink Panther, and Son of the Pink Panther. Lube up for your audit.

-via ESPN's Outside The Lines: Can't give you the best link ever here, but I saw this story on Sportscenter this morning and you've got to watch. It's in the "Video" section on the right, the third story on the list, called "OTL Raven Run." I'm already thinking of a way to turn this into a short story, so I beg my writer friends who read this to just let it be.

-via Gizmodo: I hate to be an iPhone rumor monger, but this is just too good to pass up. Project Charlie? AT&T? Secret Best Buy entries? It MUST be an iPhone!

-via Lifehacker: Ever wish you had a definitive list for how to keep your fruits and vegetables from going rotten? As usual, Lifehacker comes through with the goods. I'm somewhat surprised the lettuce entry doesn't include my patented "wrap-it-in-paper-towel" trick.

-Speaking of food, it's been a while since I put up the food equivalent of a good ass and titties shot. Here's a beautiful dish Danielle put together this past week:

That's salmon with lemon and capers, roasted asparagus, and a side salad with some of my pickled onions. Delicious.

-Took this screenshot on Friday:

When I get home from work, I always turn my iPhone's Wi-Fi on. As I did this on Friday, a plane just happened to be roaring overhead. I'm willing to bet it was a US Airways flight. Pretty freakin' cool, right?

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Top 9 in the Yankee game. A-Rod's got another big homer, Tex has a huge play in the field, and Burnett looked awesome. Now we just need a win to top it all off. Still got three more games to watch today too.

I love Sunday.

Hope you do too.

JS

The Sports Allure Vacuum: The Score Is Not What I'm There For

Started thinking a lot about what it means to be a sports fan last night.

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Danielle was home for the first time since Monday. Naturally, I was excited to talk to someone other than the cat while unwinding from work and going about my normal evening activities of reading, writing, fucking around on the computer, and of course, watching sports.

We're in a specific time of year, a wonderful time of year, really. The NHL playoffs are in full swing, the NBA playoffs are in full swing, and the MLB season is starting to take shape. Last night, the Red Wings and Ducks played a Game 7, the Bruins and Hurricanes played a Game 7 (at basically the same time for some strange reason), the Celtics and Magic played a Game 6, the Lakers and Rockets played a Game 6, and the Yankees played the Blue Jays. I had a rooting interesting in all of these games and wanted to see all of them.

This makes for some interesting television choices.

I am not a flipper. I usually believe in choosing the game most worthy of my time and sticking with it. All that happens when you try and watch three games at once is you wind up missing everything important in all of them. And in hockey and basketball, it's not just about seeing one specific play happen like it is with baseball (to a degree, anyway). It's about the sequence of events leading up a big play and how the crowd reacts and how the players react and even how the coaches react. You can sense a big play coming, and for me, that's usually more exciting than the play itself.

I've tried three different ways to write down how I went about choosing what to watch and when last night, but no one way seems to really capture the spirit of it. What I'm going to do is list each thought as I remember it firing in my brain for a half-hour or so, although it's probably still off the mark. This is, again, a re-creation, but it's close to how last night went:

6:59: Almost there. Almost.

7:00: Yankees. Do other sports teams have intro music for their broadcast? I've never thought about this before.

7:03: Al Leiter is such a bad television personality. He just sounds sloppy. Time for hockey. Game 7, kid. Versus's B-list group of hockey announcers really sucks.

7:04: Yankees commercial already. I have never actually seen a WB Mason. Like, ever. Time for basketball anyway. I still can't believe Stephon Marbury got a Tyson (a head tattoo on anyone that isn't a sideshow freak is and always will be called a Tyson). (I'm going to rip-off Bill Simmons here: The NBA--where Tyson's happen!)

7:05: Put on the Yankees--Versus's pre-game is longer than most and who the fuck cares about the first minute of a basketball game.

7:08: The Blue Jays pitcher looks somewhat like the dude who always wears goggles and a lab coat in Big Wet Asses.

7:10: Check in on the Ducks game (I believe that we always subconsciously refer to a game through the team we want to win, whether or not we're a "fan" of that team. Will make for some interesting decisions later).

7:15: Must. Not. Focus. On. Just. Hockey. Check the Celtics game (Shit, was I rooting for a Boston team?).

7:16: Still early--who cares about basketball when it's early? Back to Game 7.

7:22: What? Danielle? Danielle's home?

7:30: Shit, check back on the Yankees.

7:31: Fuck it, it's still early in the season. Can't miss a Game 7, baby. Game 7!

And each time I flipped to another game, something had happened. My worst nightmare. A run scored, a goal scored, a foul called that was still being talked about. And each time, I'd say, "Fuck man, I can't keep up with this shit."

Now, I was vaguely aware of Danielle also being present in the domicile at points. I know she was doing something crafty involving wires. I'm pretty sure I was shown what our friend Christina's birthday gift looked like. I know she took a shower because she put the exhaust fan on and I had to turn the game louder.

But I mean, come on, Game 7?

And this is when I started to think:

I am currently stuck in the sports allure vacuum.

The sports allure vacuum exists because you never know when you will be a witness to history (how long before that's a tag line to a pro-sports commercial?). The Tivo/DVR might be good for such programming as Made of Honor and Grey's Anatomy and Rich Bride, Poor Bride (don't worry, Danielle--wake up at eight AM or so tomorrow morning, and you'll have like, a six hour slot to watch all your shows, I promise. I got you) but there's no chance of it working for sporting events (actually, hun, better make it seven AM). They need to be seen live. I've got too many ways of knowing too many scores and the score is not what I'm there for anyway.

CC won last night, right? I could have looked up his stats. He had a good line, so I could have ascertained that he pitched fairly well. But I needed to see this happening. Because tonight, Phil Hughes will try and build on that start. And the next time CC pitches, he'll want to build on that start, just like he built on his last start when he dominated in Baltimore. And I wanted to know how the Toronto crowd treated A-Rod. And I wanted to know if Mark Texiera built on the previous night's pair of hits. And I wanted to see if Jeter looked gimpy, and if Gardner and Cervelli could keep on making a name for themselves, and if Mo got to pitch, and if he did, if his velocity was up.

Because that's what a sports season is--taking in a million small moments and hoping that the players you root for remember those moments like you do. It's why when one of my teams is eliminated (or doesn't make the post season at all), my first thought is usually something like:

Fuck, what a waste of time.

And even with the steroids and the attitudes and the pictures of guys like Joakim Noah frolicking in Brazilian waters with naked women while Chicago Bulls fans are probably still burning up suicide hot lines, I keep coming back to it over and over again, and sometimes, I don't even know why.

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When Big Baby Davis hit that game winner two nights ago with no time left, Danielle was sitting next to me. I made her stop what she was doing to watch the last two minutes of that game, something a father would do to a young child, even though, as she said, "You don't even like either of these teams. And I don't even like basketball."

But I told her to just be quiet and watch.

And then Rondo brought the ball up and waited until :05 to make a pass to Pierce, and then the Magic tried to double Pierce, and then he found Davis, and then Davis took that little twinkle toes jump shot, and he sank it, and holy shit.

It made sense that Davis ran screaming down the court to his teammates, a moment of sheer joy. Almost out-of-body.

But there I was, 2,000 miles away, no affiliation to either team, screaming in my living room too.

You know what I was screaming?

"THAT'S WHY YOU WATCH SPORTS!"

I guess maybe I do know.

Now I just hope Danielle understands.


JS

plain china

Just wanted to give some love to the new Bennington College Online Literary Journal, plain china. It looks like it will feature undergraduate work only, but since alma mater's can always use some shout-outs, I figured I'd do my part.

Pretty cool how they came up with the name too:

"...this college, where we are now sitting, what lies beneath its gallant red brick and the wild unkempt grasses of the garden? What force is behind that plain china off which we dine...?"

—Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own

Be sure to check out plain china here.

Oh, and the above image is by Ineshke Unambuwe '12.


More soon.

JS

The Time To Move Is Now

Big news this morning. Not for me, of course, but for all you wierdos who are yet to emigrate over to Gmail from your outdated Yahoo and Hotmail accounts and even worse, your AOL accounts.

Things just got easier:

New sign-ups to Gmail from here on out should see a feature in their settings, under a renamed "Accounts and Import" tab, that can make an account switch with just a few checkboxes and one button push. Contacts, old mail, and new mail for the next 30 days can be grabbed from a fairly big list of supported email providers. (via Lifehacker)

Be sure to check out the full story on the Official Gmail Blog.

More soon.

JS

Bring The Pain And Pop The Champagne

Putting this one up for Tara, and for all of you who need a laugh. Although wait until you get home to watch, because it's definitely NSFW.

Simon Rex a.k.a Dirt Nasty (Rob Dyrdek in six years, anyone?) comes through with such now-I-have-belief-in-God lines as:

I shine like Morrisey/on Hennesey/on Christmas Eve

and

Holding my dick like a US Open trophy

Ladies and Gentlemen, the one and only:



I'm pretty sure I've done the, "I got a gold chain/Like it was 1980" line about 100 times today.

Thanks, Tara.


More soon.

JS

Fear Lulls Our Minds To Sleep

Persepolis was one of the films that, when I first heard about it, got added to the "to-see" list, although I knew it would wind up getting pushed around and eventually forgotten.

It did, and it was, and that was that, or so I thought.

Danielle wanted to see it more than I did though, so when she added it to our Netflix queue, I was mildly excited, although I still wasn't burning up with anticipation, which was the root of the problem from the start.

Well, we watched it this weekend, and I've got to say--see Persepolis.

If you're a whiner when it comes to subtitles or foreign languages or animation or movies that aren't the equivalent of a fluff and peanut butter sandwich, then I guess it's not the movie for you, although you're doing yourself a disservice thinking like that to begin with.

It's a powerful, complex movie. The characters are real and you feel for them, especially Marjane and her grandmother. The animation factor is used really well--never over the top, but not quite ignored either.

I also think its an important movie for Americans to see (or everyone) because you get a glimpse into what life "somewhere else" can be/is like, and it's not always pretty.

Check out the Persepolis Wikipedia page.

Check out the Persepolis IMDB page.

And here's the trailer:



And of course be sure to check out the graphic novel by Marjane Satrapi that the film is based on.


More soon.

JS

Let A Stranger Drive You Home?

You know what I have come to hate?

This:



First, the main problem is that this commercial was played at least 30 times in a seven hour span on Sunday. I shouldn't be spending that much time in front of a television, I know, but three major pro sports are in season, two of which are in their playoffs, so suck off.

Second, this notion of "letting a stranger drive you home" irks me. I don't know if its the wording or what, but its just stupid. It doesn't sound like something that always ends well, even if their point is not to drink and drive.

Third, all four people in the car look like total douchebags. I wouldn't be friends with any of them on principle alone. In a beer commercial, the people are playing the role of me, the consumer. If those people were similar to me in any way, I'd shoot myself.

Fourth, the singing. Yes, maybe we have all sung along to the radio in a cab before while drunk (and by the way, do any of those people even look drunk?), but nobody gets all 106 and Park like the dude in the backseat. Not without throwing up at least.

Fifth--the biggest problem of all. The motherfucking pimped out radio in the cab. What cabby--and dude looks like he's late 50's, early 60's--has a custom head in his yellow taxi? Seriously. Who? That's not the way the world works and we all know it.

In my world, you're just happy to have a way home.

Maybe you're lucky enough to get a cabby who's willing to pull over after passing over the Willis Ave. Bridge to let you throw scotch up in a Dunkin Donuts parking lot.

If he's a really nice guy, a fucking clutch performer, maybe he pulls into the dark corner of the parking lot so the cops don't see you.

And while you're doing it, as you look over and there's the dank building where the Golden Lady used to be, its naked neon lady sitting in a martini glass sign now dark, maybe, just maybe, you have the capacity to think to yourself: I love my life, I just hate the decisions I've made.

But never do you think: I'm just glad I let a stranger drive me home.

Nobody is that lucky.


More soon.

JS

Way More Than Luck

Danielle and I just finished watching Persepolis and it's 8:00 and still light out. We've been recovering from another fun-filled Saturday night--when has the cup officially runneth over?--all day and now the washing machine is churning, Sunday night sports are on (as if they were any different from Sunday afternoon sports), and out on the Quad, the tents have been erected for the upcoming graduation ceremonies. I am full with the feeling that I am part of one of those pictures made up of millions of little pictures.

Here's your Sunday Review.

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-via The New York Times, this is a review by David Means of Denis Johnson's crime noir Playboy serial Nobody Move. I'm a major fan of Johnson's writing--I'm on my third copy of Jesus' Son. The last two I lent out haven't made it back.

-via The New York Times, this is a piece from the Technology section by Jean-Gabriel Morard on something any of us who use modern technology should care about/understand--syncing. You check your Gmail account on your iPhone and when you open Gmail on your computer, the changes are reflected. We could just write it off as magic, but instead, read the article and find out the why and the how and the things that get in the way.

-via The New York Times, this is one of any number of stories on Manny being Manny while on fertility drugs. While I may never be completely over some of the damage he inflicted on the Yankees, I can't help but feel somewhat morose over the unmasking of yet another of my generation's baseball (im)mortals. All we've ever been told is that Manny is a hitting savant--that it's what he lives for. And while his suspension for using performance-enhancing drugs may not change that in theory, the reality is that we will never be able to look at him again the same way. George Vecsey puts it in a depressingly beautiful way when he writes:

Baseball will have a hard time living with a Chernobyl generation that still glows with toxicity.

-via The New York Times, this is a piece by/with Mos Def. He gives Winter Miller a rundown on what he's listening to at the moment. The real nugget in the piece is the fact that Mos Def is a fan of Fucked Up.

-via Entertainment Weekly, this is a listing of some foodie blogs that are worth checking out. This Is Why You're Fat gets a deserving shout-out, but woe on them for not giving Michael Ruhlman his props.

-via The New York Daily News, this is a piece that is summed up perfectly by its title: Cheney Would Rather See Rush Limbaugh In Charge Of GOP, Than Colin Powell.

-via The New York Times, this is a letter to the editor regarding Tom Bissell's essay on David Foster Wallace. The author of the letter, Daniel Epstein, quotes Wallace's closing words, words that I doubt I will forget in the near future:

Your education really is the job of a lifetime. And it commences now. I wish you way more than luck.

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-I got a new sign for my office at work:

It's just that time of year.

-Bukowski has always been a fan of modern technology:

He says, "Laptop cases that double as a bed? What will they think of next?"

I've started in on Chuck Palahniuk's latest, Pygmy (which for some reason will not come up in an Amazon search). If the book was a Presidential election and I was Wolf Blitzer, I would say something like, "Early returns are in, and the results are not promising."

Next Sunday, or even throughout the week, if there's anything that you read/snort/inhale that you'd like to see included in The Sunday Review, send me a link through twitter or in the comments.

Enjoy the rest of Sunday.

JS

Call Failed

Something that even those of us caught up in the world of Apple fanboyism can appreciate:



via Gizmodo.


More soon.

JS

Things I Hate

Sometimes I feel like I don't have anything to write here.

I've been focused on getting at least one post up a day, usually a few, and there are days where I have to stretch it to make it work. I've got multiple ways of keeping track of things I want to blog about, and then there's good ol' inspiration, but there are times when the well is just dry.

I've realized that part of the problem is that I'm constantly focusing on positive topics--informing you, the reader, about something that I feel is worth your attention. Frankly, the reality is that there's a lot more things that I hate out there, and for a couple of months now, I haven't been giving them the attention they deserve.

So fuck it.

You know what I hate?



Freecreditreport.com. And their motherfucking commercials. A waste of their advertising dollars and my time. Here's the way I envision their marketing team dreaming these commercials up:

Marketing Guy 1: Harold--the economic landscape is a barren wasteland right now.
Marketing Guy 2: Our credit reports are free. So we're good, right?
Marketing Guy 1: Wrong. Nobody believes that our product is trustworthy. Nobody believes in any of these bullshit credit report company's, actually.
Marketing Guy 2: I've been scammed myself.
Marketing Guy 1: Right. So what we need to do is establish a market presence. Provide a security blanket to potential customers.
Marketing Guy 2: Stroke their heads and tell them, "We. Love. You."
Marketing Guy 1: Precisely. Now, the Main Street mind would tell you we should, you know, hire diligent workers, deliver a superb product at a low cost, provide great customer service, and basically follow through on all aspects of our company guarantee.
Marketing Guy 2: Sounds--expensive.
Marketing Guy 1: You can bet your pussy it is, Harold. What we do instead is this: commercials.
Marketing Guy 2: The Super Bowl, Fred? Could we show it during the Super Bowl?
Marketing Guy 1: And not just any commercials. Really kooky commercials *with strange hand gestures*. Downright stupid commercials. Commercials complete with a catchy song and cheap costumes and low production values.
Marketing Guy 2: Because nothing says "reputable business advising" like pun-driven songs and cheap laughs!
Marketing Guy 1: Exactly, Harold. Exactly.

*

Well, at least we know Manny's positive test isn't from that Rogaine stuff.


More soon.

JS

Brave New Voices

So I've been watching this show Brave New Voices on HBO for the past few weeks, and as it begins to wind down, I realize now that I'm pretty into it.

I was skeptical at first. I haven't been too into the slam world lately (except for Brian Francis, but only because he's amazing. Ask me about buying his first book) and this show illustrated some of the reasons why. While it's awesome to see kids doing something positive and artistic and being supported on a larger scale (500 young poets competing in a national competition is an amazing feat), there's just too many trumped-up stories about the one tramatic incident in someone's life. Too much emphasis put on the personal emotion behind something, not enough on the emotion on the receiving end. On the technical/artistic end, as much as I hate to say it.

At one point, one of the team mentors (the show follows teams from NYC, Philly, Ft. Lauderdale, Ann Arbor, San Fran, Santa Fe, & Hawaii) says to a poet, "Not all poems are slam poems."

I wished he'd taken it a step further--not all slam poems are slam poems.

As I said to Brian while discussing the show: it's not slam therapy--it's slam poetry.

But I'm not sure if everyone can appreciate the difference.

Regardless, there are still some great moments on the show, moments where you can tell a young person learned something that they won't soon forget, which is always a positive thing. One of the poets on the Philly team, Josh Bennett, I wouldn't be surprised to see his name getting big soon. He's a great writer and a great performer. Only good things can be in store for him.

Make sure to catch Brave New Voices, as I believe there are only 2 eps left. Sunday nights on HBO at 11pm/et.

America's youth is alive, people.

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Check out HBO's Brave New Voices website.

Check out the Brave New Voices website.


More soon.

JS

Know The Name

New address for Artificial Night!

www.joestracci.com

'Bout to become a household name, bitches.

Hopefully the redirect for without the "www" will work by tomorrow.


More soon.

JS

Fire And Ice

For those who didn't know (and judging by the NHL's TV ratings, that's a considerable number of you), Ovechkin/Crosby, Round 2 took place last night, and it didn't disappoint. The two superstars decided that the night's theme would be "Dueling Hat Tricks" and Washington wound up winning, which puts the series at 2-0 in favor of the Caps. As a rule, I don't normally root for the team that knocks my team out of contention, but my weird love for Alexander Ovechkin has me ignoring a once set-in-stone ideal.

That being said, and as much as I hate Sidney Crosby and his team, I hope they win the next two at home. It's a strange feeling, but one that cannot be ignored. What is obvious is this:

This series needs to go the distance.

These are the two best players in the NHL--both in their prime--and the sports most marketable names to boot. They are fire and ice.

Sidney is reserved, handsome, soft-spoken, a leader, and has a porn star's name, which probably accounts for his all around bitch-like demeanor. Sorry, that got away from me at the end.

Conversely, Ovie is brash, wild-eyed, shoots first and asks questions later, has the name of a Red Scare-era villain, and was recently compared, looks-wise, to Richard Kiel.

Hockey fans haven't seen a match-up like this since Gretzky/Lemieux and even that isn't a fair comparison. Sid the Kid and Ovie seem to genuinely dislike each other, which always helps, and their teams and their fans are rabid in terms of their support.

Game 3 is tomorrow night. I won't speculate on what these two are capable of pulling out next, but I know they won't dissapoint, so do yourself a favor and watch.

And if not for yourself, then for the NHL.

Lord knows they need the support.

More soon.

JS

@History

via Gizmodo & The NY Times Technology Blog:







The history of the @ symbol stretches back longer than you'd think. We're talking 1536--473 years ago. Some nice info in the article, considering how much @ is used in our lives these days.



More soon.

JS

In Order To Proceed

The following is photographic evidence of two major events that occured last night. These pictures have not been altered in any way. Actually, they have, but that's besides the point.

-First:

Homemade Gyro. Use this recipe, courtesy of Alton Brown, and you won't go wrong. This is the second time making it, and it was even better this time around. Make sure to buy feta cheese though--for some reason the recipe doesn't list it in the ingredients. And make extra tzatziki. I put some on today's turkey sandwich.

-Second:

Phase I of the 2nd edit of Whitney is complete. To kickstart the writing process, I'll be transfering the edits to the computer files. I've got an idea for a new chapter (based on a pencil) and then I'm going to work on a timeline. I've got to get the character's backstories down. I need to know where they've been. None of it will make it to the book, but I've come to the point where I need this information in order to proceed.

More soon.

JS

Look Forward To Failure

Yay, Wednesday.


More soon.

JS

A.J. Burnett's Home Theater Is Worth More Than Your Life

I woke up late this morning, and it looks like it'll be another grey, dreary day, and it's Monday. So really, life just sucks right now, but then Deadspin turned it all around.

Electronic House selected A.J. Burnett's home theater setup as the bronze winner in the '09 Home of The Year Awards. Lucky for us, they included pictures in the article:

View from the rear. I dig the wall lamps--they have a vintage feel.

From the front, and even more vintage. While I wouldn't pick that look myself, it's interesting, and done well. There Will Be Blood-esque. I could imagine Burnett beating A-Rod to death with a bowling pin in there.

This burns me to the core, yet inspires giggles. A lobby? Really? His kids don't have a chance at a well-adjusted life. Candy in the counter space too? He loses some points though for the posters. 300, The Dark Knight, The Hulk (maybe?)--c'mon A.J., you've got to at least give the impression of class and taste. Throw up a Casablanca vintage or a Gone With The Wind print and call it a day.

Now that I feel great about my Sony home theater-in-a-box with the non-working left surround speaker, I'm going to go back to being miserable.

More soon.

JS

Don't Drink The Tea (From Long Island)

Danielle is talking on the phone as I type this, and her voice seems amplified and almost metallic and it's driving me insane. We drank our asses off last night at a friend's house and while she seems to be fully recovered, I have the kind of hangover usually reserved for seventeen-year-olds on their first trip to Cancun. I didn't think this week's Sunday Review would even happen, but here I am, a soldier. You're only getting links though--I have no witty thoughts in me.

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-Got an e-mail from John Madera--the dude who put together the novella project I contributed to. Apparently Time Out New York blurbed it, so congrats to John and to everyone involved.

-via Gizmodo--this is the only thing that has made me laugh today:

-via The New York Daily News--finally someone sticks up for A-Rod. This won't stop the "Bitch Tits" chants at Fenway, but it's a start.

-via The New York Times--here's an excerpt from Colson Whitehead's Sag Harbor. I posted about him recently.

-via The New York Times--it only took Britain 341 years to appoint a female poet laureate. You've come a long way baby! (That exclamation mark hurt, I swear.)

-via CNN--the title says it all: Hysteria Over Swine Flu Is The Real Danger, Some Say.

-via The New York Times--Green Day is back. That picture makes me a little sad though; Mike Dirnt doesn't seem to be aging gracefully.

-via The New York Times Magazine--cool little Q&A with Tom Colicchio. I love how he lists "grated mountain yam" as one of his food aversions. Way to go for the common man's vote, Tom.

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-Bought new kicks on Friday:

Murdered-out Chuck Taylor's will save your soul.

Unless your soul is awash in a combination of gin, rum, vodka, tequila, sour mix, and soda. And beer from when the liquor ran out.

Then there's no fucking hope.

Enjoy Sunday.

JS