Impossible Is Nothing

Table Tennis Clip Art. Of course it exists, dummy.

As 2012 approaches, so do the "Top ____ of 2011" lists. None of them will be as glorious as the one I'm about to comment on. I've watched this video way too many times already, and at first, I wasn't going to write anything, but then I started watching the video, and about a minute in, I was like, OK, I'm writing a blog post.

Then, after two minutes, I was like, no, this is just a Tumblr post, not a whole blog post.

And then I got the end and I had so many ideas and questions, I was like, I just have to.

--

So first, here's the video, via Devour, of the Best Table Tennis Shots of 2011:



And here, following along chronologically, are my thoughts/questions/concerns/etc.:

1. There's a website called Table Tennis Daily, which means, theoretically, there is enough going on in the world of Table Tennis to update a website every day.

2. The inclusion of the quote "Impossible is nothing". I'm not sure if this is a quote by one of the Table Tennis players, maybe the one pictured, but I really hope it is.

3.The first shot is labeled as #1. For some reason, maybe it's a thing in the world of Table Tennis, this is the first "Best of" list to ever go in ascending order. Ever. Meaning the first shot, #1, is the tenth best shot. And it was weird because when I saw the shot I was like, Damn, this is the best table tennis shot in the world? But then I realized, oh, okay, they just have no idea how to number the list. Got it.

4. At :36, the announcer responds to a winning shot by saying, "Bang on, man." Yup, that's definitely my new phrase.

5. Shot #2 (really #9) is the first shot where we get to see a serve. The serve might be my favorite aspect. How are these weird gyrations and all the intentionally misleading body language allowed? Better yet, has anyone proven that they actually help?

6. I also love the massive swings some of these guys take, but because the ball is hollow and a half millimeter thick, it doesn't really move any faster. I'm thinking shoulder injuries must be a huge issue in the Table Tennis world.

7. Bonus points for the winner in Shot #2 for the pimping way he celebrates.

8. The crowd reaction in Shot #3 at 1:02 or so is just amazing. The fact that there are that many people willing to react like that to Table Tennis. . .

9. Shot #5, again, another ridiculously pimp reaction, what I like to call The Walk The Fuck Off. Joba Chamberlain used to be able to do this too, back before he started taking conditioning and nutrition tips from Tony Soprano. And did you catch how the guy who lost the point had to jump over the little barrier and retrieve the ball? I'm liking Table Tennis more and more.

10. Table Tennis Doubles. Don't laugh. Can you imagine how dangerous that is? I'm betting that any serious Table Tennis Doubles participant has all fake teeth by the time they're 26, like hockey players.

11. Dude in Shot #7 has on a head band. And can we be honest--is that really that impressive of a shot? Maybe I'm missing something.

12. Shot #8 is funny to me, just because of the fact that during the replay, at like, 2:35, you can see that there is literally four-to-seven people watching in what appears to be a huge arena. And people wonder why the Olympics lose money.

13. This would probably be a good time to mention the music.

14. Okay, Shot #9 is impressive. I've watched it a few times now and I just get the feeling that he was showing off. A little. Like, the speed of his spin just seems too slow to be part of his natural reaction. The rivalries in Table Tennis must be so fierce.

15. And then there is it. Shot #10. Or #1. Whatever. A good rally. Good job of editing, too, having the music hit the dramatic point. Another ridiculous serve. The fellow in green is obviously on the defensive. He appears to be deflecting shots rather than returning them. And at 3:03, it looks like the dude in red has him dead to rights. Even the announcer feels it, and gives an, "Oooh," like, wow, this guy is about to put him away, which is exactly what the guy in red thinks too, so much so that he blasts one, but kind of goes limp beforehand. If his body language could talk, it would say, "Really? That's all you have to throw back at me? A meatball?" And he's obviously not on guard, which really doesn't matter because it's over and the-- AND THEN DUDE IN THE GREEN, FROM WAY, WAY DOWNTOWN, JUST PUTS HIM AWAY! OH, BABY!

Kids, if you're watching at home, just watch 3:03-3:05 over and over again. The body language says it all. Guy in the green--he doesn't care that it LOOKS like he's about to be put away. He's doing his little bounce, he's ready. And then he just crushes a backhand shot from the third row. Incredible. And just to cap it off, he ice grills the shit out of his opponent at 3:07.

And there you have it. Who knows what Table Tennis in '12 has in store for us. I'll end with a transcript of the announcer's reaction to Shot #10. The #1 shot. Wait, what?

"Nooo--no, no, no. The shot of the tournament. And absolutely no doubt at all about that. Everybody here inside the, uh, Ahoy (?) Stadium is absolutely flabbergasted. Let's have a look at this one. Unbelievable shot--there's the first one, bye bye, out you go, Oh, my goodness, where did that come from? Wow."