Look how small is it!
It’s a computer--that you can take--anywhere!
And look how small it is!
The defining feature of the ThinkPad for me was the completely unusable little red button—the TrackPoint—located in-between the G and H keys. God, was it awful. It was like a felt-covered hardened nipple. The ThinkPad was slow overall—I think it still ran Windows 95—and the strain that going to college in 2002 (Kazaa, AIM, et al) put on it was too much to handle. It crapped out right before winter break.
So what did I do? I saved up and got a Sony Vaio desktop after Christmas. Well, I didn’t actually save up—I hoarded my Christmas money and put the rest of the cost on one (or maybe several) of my newly-acquired credit cards. And that baby sung. The Vaio, not the credit card. It lasted for five years until my abuse finally put it down for the count. After a near-catastrophic lost-document incident with another machine, and tired in general of Windows and virus scans and Norton and McAfee, I made the switch to Apple.
So, why am I bringing all this up?
On Wednesday, Steve Jobs unveiled the iPad. In so many words, the iPad is a piece of glass that just happens to house a mutation of the iPhone OS, with some MacBook dashes thrown in for good measure. Unless you’ve been making mixtapes with Bin Laden, you’ve probably gotten some type of iPad explanation, so I’ll leave the basics out of an already too-long post.
What I want to get across is this:
The fact that the iPad is a reality, when less than a decade ago, I was still pounding away on an IBM ThinkPad running Windows 95, absolutely blows my mind. What’s followed in the 48 hours since the iPad unveiling has included plenty of opinions similar to mine. But there’s been an undeniable negative tone running through these last couple of days: about the name, about what it’s lacking—some have even already declared the iPad a failure.
I decided that for my own sanity, and maybe to attempt to provide a small sliver of enlightenment for others, I needed to work my way through three main questions:
I. What don’t I like about the iPad?
II. What do I like about the iPad?
III. Will I buy one?
And again, I must point out that I’m writing this without ever having seen an iPad in person, let alone touched one. I’m not smart enough to go through the SDK and make sense out of it. I’m going strictly off of what I’ve gleaned from all of the reporting that I’ve taken in, from all the messageboards and comment sections I’ve read, and from the Apple-sponsored videos I’ve watched.
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I. What don’t I like about the iPad?
1. The keyboard
Apple has made its name by coming up with new and exceptional ways to achieve ordinary tasks. They’re fond of using the phrase, “You just do,” which usually tends to be the case. Unfortunately, a big virtual keyboard is the opposite of “you just do.” In almost all of the pictures and videos provided on how to “use” the iPad, the device is rested on the legs. I tried it with a couple of different items that are roughly the iPad’s size and there’s no way around it—it’s uncomfortable. As for laying it down on a table and typing, it just seems—not magical, which I wouldn’t normally be inclined to use to describe anything, but since Apple used the term, they get held to it. I really wanted to hold back on condemning the keyboard until I’d used one, but it’s left such a bad taste in my mouth that I couldn’t resist. And the fact that there looks to be a flood of 3rd party solutions to this (Griffin and Scosche) doesn’t change the fact that Apple either couldn’t or decided not to come up with a better way.
2. No multi-tasking
Now, I’ll admit, I’m conflicted on the issue of multi-tasking. I’ve got two issues that almost prevented me from even including multi-tasking as one of my dislikes. First, let me just say that I don’t buy this argument in the slightest:
“You mean I can’t listen to Pandora and write an e-mail? That’s bullshit!”
Spare me. You’ll be able to listen to music and perform other tasks at the same time quite easily on your iPad, just like you already can on your iPhone/iPod Touch—by using the iPod app. If you choose not to, that’s on you. The fact that I’ve spent ridiculous amounts of time and money purchasing, downloading, and arranging my music collection inclines me to use the iPod app, which I’m imagining is what Apple intended. I’m sick of hearing about Pandora and Slacker Radio and AOL Radio. I like my music collection—not what some logarithm thinks I will like.
Second—have you used an iPhone/iPod Touch before? You’re going to tell me that you need to get to your favorite Twitter app from the Facebook app faster than the 2-3 seconds it takes now? I multi-tasked on a Blackberry Storm—it wasn’t nearly that fast. And here’s another test to run—if you have an iPhone and don’t have Tweetie, get it. Start writing a tweet, stop, press the home button, open up Facebook, stalk for two minutes, close Facebook, and go back to Tweetie. What pops up? Yeah, go ahead, say it—the tweet you were writing, right how you left it. That’s called “full persistence.” Well-designed apps have it. Demand it of your favorite app developers.
But on the other hand—
Multi-tasking should have been included. I can’t argue the point; just provide alternatives, which isn’t the same thing. Battery-life is important, but it still doesn’t explain it away. Anybody who’s done even light research into jailbreaking their iPhone/iPod Touch will tell you that multi-tasking is completely possible in the iPhone OS, just not allowed. A good way to see the evidence of this is to open Mobile Safari and press the tabs icon. Or open up the Weather app. Compare what you’re looking at to the Palm Pre’s “cards” style of multi-tasking. Look familiar?
Apple, as much as I respect them, seems to be run by some stubborn SOB’s, and I think that flaw is showing through in this instance. What’s odd to me is that they didn’t even mention NOT having multi-tasking on Wednesday, which brings me to my next issue.
3. The iPad OS doesn’t seem—finished
I wouldn’t call it half-baked. More like three-quarters baked. Here are a couple of reasons that lead me to believe this:
As you can see, Apple pulled the iPad OS straight out of the iPhone. And as we all know, Apple is a company that is obsessed with the design elements of all of their products—right down to the packaging. Now, I don’t know Steve Jobs, but if I did, my first question for him after he stopped by to give me a private hands-on with the iPad would have been, “Steve—who forgot to stretch the slide to unlock, man?”
Seriously though, Apple, you must be kidding me. That beautiful, massive screen and the best unlock solution you could come up with was that tiny little slide-to-unlock? It goes together about as well as Rhianna and Chris Brown. It’s embarrassing, honestly. I’m thinking that Apple battled to get this thing ready for Wednesday and as they were making their initial to-do list, somebody said, “Look—we’re going to unlock the device ONCE during the keynote. We’ve got bigger fish to fry. We’ll fix it later.”
It’s worth pointing out that an unlock feature might not even be necessary on this type of device, but that’s an argument for another day.
Next:
Once you unlock the device, the above picture is what you’ll see. Now, everybody who spoke on Wednesday kept using one specific word: familiar. It’s a smart plan to sell the device--by harping on the fact that you already know how to use it. But I’m sorry, what looks to be about five hundred feet between those tiny little icons isn’t familiar in the slightest. Again—it’s embarrassing. It just looks—wrong.
Apple, I understand that you need to sell this to people without telling them that they need to repurchase their apps (on that note: if you think app developers are going to redesign their apps to fit both the iPhone/iPod Touch and the iPad, and just upgrade you for free, I’ve got a sometimes-injured Queens-based baseball team to sell you), but you need to come up with something better.
(And I believe that’s exactly what Apple plans to do. They got the OS 3.2 SDK--which also happens to be the next OS for the iPhone/iPod Touch--out to developers who are, as you read this, brainstorming, and upgrading, or both. The iPad won’t ship until April. The new iPhone OS is usually unveiled at the beginning of March. For the moment, both devices run basically the same OS. See where this is going? If not, read this.)
4. It’s the iPad 1G
The iPad is the first of it’s kind. From the comments that are starting to come out, now that people have had time to actually digest what they were shown, the iPad is literally like nothing we’ve seen before. Just as practice doesn’t really prepare athletes for the speed of a live game, testing a device while hiding under black cloaks, with the thing bolted to the table, can’t accurately simulate real world usage. Flaws, of both a software and hardware nature, are going to be discovered. For the most part, software flaws are fixable. Hardware flaws—not so much. The reality is that in a year or two, Apple is going to be able to make the iPad lighter, thinner, and higher-powered. Think about the difference between the 1st generation iPhone and the iPhone 3G—it was like night and day. Early adopters of the iPad will be burnt by this, just as early adopters of the iPhone were—it’s a fact. And with no contract to sign, the consumer will have less, if any, ground to stand on.
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II. What do I like about the iPad?
1. It’s got history on its side
To all those trashing the iPad, may I remind you of the timeless phrase “those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” The negative reaction to the iPad is alarmingly similar to the reaction to the 1st generation iPhone, as well as the 1st generation iPod. What we saw on Wednesday was the equivalent of a car before it’s been upholstered or painted. It had few polished apps to run and just as it’s the apps that make the iPhone great, apps will be what make the iPad great.
2. You haven’t actually, you know, used it
What’s funny is that most of the people declaring the iPad a failure have only, at the most, seen liveblog coverage of it. Just about every review I’ve read by people who were actually there have said the same thing: wait until you hold this thing. Watching Steve Jobs mosey around Safari and Phil Schiller make fake Pages projects in the new iWork is fun, but it’s boring, let’s face it. It’s the equivalent of holding up a picture of Santa Claus, pointing to it, and telling a child, “This guy right here—he’s magic.” What’s magic to the child is when he or she wakes up in the morning and there are presents under the tree and the milk and cookies are gone.
3. The name
Oh, man, I’ve been waiting for this. So let’s address the name. First of all, let me just put it out there—I. Love. The. Name. It’s simple, easy to say, and makes perfect sense in the context of the design of the apps and how the device will be used.
Now, I’d like to dispatch the naysayer categories one by one:
-Don’t even waste my time with this nonsense: “Hee hee—it reminds me of periods!” Male or female, if you associate every mention of the word “pad” with menstruation, my advice is not to give your money to Apple, but to put it towards something useful, like a therapist, because along the way, something happened to you and you should work that out. Seriously. And if you don't think my opinion is valid because I have a penis, read this.
-Next up—the complaint that “iPad sounds too much like iPod.” Explain to me how this is a bad thing. Go ahead. Because while I may not be a marketing expert, I am a common sense expert, and I don’t really see why Apple wouldn’t want to align their new product (iPod/iPhone/iPad--get it?) with a world-changing device that they've sold 220 million of since 2001. But that's just me.
-I also find the notion that people are making the decision of whether or not they will buy the iPad, or whether or not it will be successful, based only on the name, to be absolutely ridiculous. "Dipstick" is a funny word, but it doesn't stop me from checking my car's oil. And as it was pointed out here, "Wii" is a pretty stupid name for a gaming console, but it's done fairly well in the marketplace. But it’s possible that I’m the one who’s just out of touch with reality. I like to keep an open mind.
4. The price
I don’t think enough has been made of the fact that any way you cut it, the iPad isn’t just inexpensive, it’s downright cheap. Six models ranging from $500 to $830 isn’t just “aggressive pricing” as Phil Schiller put it—it’s monumental pricing.
(Serious aside: this is all relatively speaking, of course. I understand that $830 would be much better spent helping Haitian earthquake victims, but this isn’t the forum for that type of moral debate.)
The reality is that a 64gb 3G-enabled iPad doesn’t break $850.
Now THAT is magical.
5. The unfinished OS
I know—I hate it when people do this. It’s not exactly a cunning list-making/literary trick to include the same thing on my dislikes list AND my likes list, but I had to. On Wednesday, Apple showed us a (most likely) unfinished OS. That tells me that the iPad OS has room for improvement and that Apple recognizes that. Software updates aren’t the chore that they once were (especially when it comes to Apple produc—SLAM. SLAMSLAMSLAM. Sorry—sometimes the fanboy gets out of his cage and I have to hit him with his hammer). I like to know that my technology is breathable. The iPad can, and will, evolve over time.
6. iBooks
As a writer, I wasn’t surprised to see little of the iPad after-discussion focused on what I believe to be one of the biggest new features. But let me put it out there, loud-and-proud style:
I believe that iBooks will do for books and eReaders what the iTunes Store did for music and portable media players.
I assumed, along with everybody else, that eBooks would be one of the iPad’s purposes. I figured Apple would knock out some publishing agreements and add another dropdown menu in the iTunes Store.
Yeah, not so much.
An entirely separate store dedicated to just eBooks is amazing, both for the consumer and the industry. It shows a clear dedication to making the eBook aspect of the iPad a distinct selling point, not just another feature, and I, for one, am excited to see where they can take it.
As I write, I look at pictures of the iPad and I look at my messenger bag hanging in my office and I realize that the iPad is poised to replace my iPod, my lined notebook (well—), and the book I’m always carrying. Depending on the apps coming in the next few months, the iPad may even replace the MacBook I’m typing this post on. And that sort of brings me to my next point.
7. The iPad Uses
Here’s the rub—you can’t imagine all the uses yet because they don’t exist. It’s a very meta thought, I know, but it’s true. As I write, developers are imagining uses for the iPad that I won’t think of, you won’t think of, and that Apple didn’t even think of. Again—this will be what makes this device special.
8. This. Is. A. Piece. Of. Glass.
There’s a point in the Apple-produced iPad porno where Jony Ive, obviously trying to hold back a huge shit-eating grin, says, “The face of the product is pretty much defined by a single piece of multi-touch glass--and that's it.” And in that vein, I'd like to wax poetic for a minute:
I think that the biggest disappointment for me regarding the iPad unveil was the consumer reaction. And don’t get me wrong—I don’t expect everyone to want Apple products. I really don’t. But the vitriol that bubbled up to the surface was almost palatable. And a lot of it, I think, has to do with Twitter.
I love Twitter. But you can’t deny the virus that it has infected us with—the immediacy virus. Twitter has us valuing snap judgments, 140 character editorials, and mob logic. We want to know what people think right now, we want them to use letters instead of words whenever possible, and what we want to discuss the most is whatever is trendiest at the moment.
When I decided to comment on the iPad, I thought I would shoot for a Tuesday posting, since Tuesday has sort of become my new day to go live with new pieces. But I realized that if I let six (6!) days go by, I might as well not even write the post. Even now, I’m hoping that two days after won’t be too late.
Are we are all so desensitized to technology and progress and the evolution of our world that a piece of glass that has a computer inside of it fails to inspire awe?
It’s a piece of glass, people.
I’m just now coming to understand why my iMac doesn’t have a tower, and I consider myself a fairly-educated individual. When did it become necessary—required, almost—to sneer at the idea of “just a big iPhone?”
Just a big iPhone?
Have we become that cynical of a society?
I truly hope not—because when I'm forced ponder the notion that, on a societal level, we may not even be deserving of a device like the iPad, then we’re too close to losing it all.
*
There is so much to read right now about the iPad that I decided to get down some of my favorites:
-Apple iPad: Everything You Need To Know
This will fill you in on pretty much everything about the device. Gizmodo’s coverage ranges from the downright gushy to the over-the-top bashing for no reason other than the iPad screen doesn’t rise up and form a vagina for nerds, techies, and geeks to fuck (although that would give a whole new relevance to the name). Regardless, this is a great spot to get all the basic information.
-The iPad Big Picture
-Various and Assorted Thoughts and Observations Regarding the Just-Announced iPad
I’m a bit of a John Gruber slut, I admit it, but I think (as usual) he brings up some great and mostly un-discussed points.
-Why Apple Will Sell Millions of iPads in 2010
Got this via Jason Perlow, an admitted Apple-hater (or Apple products refuser, at the very least. And even he wants one, although he keeps referring to the iPad—in regards to it’s bulky 1.5 pounds—as a “brick,” which is mind-boggling, but I’ll take what I can get from him). The main point here is that people asking, “Should I get a Kindle” or “Should I get a netbook” will both have to give the iPad face time, and that more times than not, the iPad will win.
-Apple gives every other reader reason to be nervous with iPad
Andy Ihnatko is quickly becoming another must-read for me. Here's my favorite bit from his latest:
A little later this week I’ll have more to say about the iPad and what I learned at the Apple Event. Before today, my mantra was “Remember, the Apple tablet is still just a rumored device.” From today until its April ship date, the mantra is “Remember, few people on this planet have had more than an hour’s worth of stick time with one of these; it’s made from moonbeams and wishing dust.”
But I’m absolutely certain that a liquor store that’s within walking distance of any company who staked its future on a tablet or ereader costing $400 or more will have a very, very profitable couple of months.
*
III. Will I buy one?
My answer is complicated, or wordy, at least. If the iPad was available today, or even in a week or two, my answer would be a flat, “No.”
The apps don’t exist yet, the software doesn’t seem finished, I don’t have the extra cash on hand, and on a speculation note, the 4G iPhone stands to be a huge upgrade from the 3GS and I'm not 100% convinced yet that I won't be able to use my iPhone for most of what I'd use the iPad for, although I'm getting there.
But--
The iPad isn’t available for another three months (two, technically, but the 3G-enabled models are the only models I’m considering). In that time I expect the following to happen:
-I will save the money needed to buy the iPad.
-App developers will develop mind-blowing stuff to run on this thing.
-OS 4.0 will be finished and will most likely be unveiled in early March. About a month after that (see the connection?) it will be made available for the iPad (and the hopefully mind-blowing 4G iPhone—this shit never ends, I swear).
-I will salivate over the iPad for three freakin’ months.
Assuming all of that happens, I would say its 95% certain that I’ll take the plunge, 1st generation be-damned. If all of the above doesn’t happen, I’ll drop the likelihood of me buying the iPad down to 50% because waiting for the sure-to-come 2nd generation will seem that much more doable.
For now though, all I want to see is an end to the blind negativity towards the iPad. I just want people to wait until they’ve at least held it before condemning it.
For once, I want to be amazed by people appreciating innovation on a theoretical level, not a comparative level.
I want to see respect shown not to Apple, but to the fact that we're at a point in history when a piece of glass can be more than just a piece of glass.
From a historical perspective--the fact that I was tooling around on my mother's ThinkPad using that awful TrackPoint not even a decade ago--we owe it not to the iPad, but to ourselves.
More soon.
JS
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