File this nugget in the "Only Possible In The NY Daily News" file:
Coke Cop Says Dirty Test From Oral Sex
The lead:
A decorated ex-cop who claimed he tested positive for cocaine because he ingested the drug during oral sex with his girlfriend can't have his job back, a Manhattan judge has ruled.
I'm going to have to look into the chemistry of this to find out if it's even possible. If it isn't, well shit, I say kudos to the guy for trying. If it is--holy shit, that sucks. No pun intended either.
The joke is that the cop says he's "adherent of the 'straight edge' lifestyle," and didn't know his girlfriend was abusing the drug until the positive test result.
So let me get this straight--a straight-edger, a drug vegan, who according to the article doesn't even drink coffee, was going out with a cokehead and either didn't know it or didn't care?
Doesn't seem likely.
And that's not even the worst of it--here's my favorite part of the article:
The couple met at a punk concert and, according to court records, they "would often sweat" while having sex "three or four times per week."
Wouldn't this only be relevant if the girlfriend was such a blow fiend that she was literally oozing coke? If that's even possible? Or maybe if she was pulling a Jack Nicholson in The Departed and throwing a handful of it at Mr. Straightedge's gens and telling herself, "You want it? Lick it off."
Nasir Jones said it before and it's worth repeating--pussy kills.
JS
No comments:
Post a Comment